Colin Farrell IS Crockett! Jamie Foxx IS Tubbs! You, the viewing audience, ARE mystified as to how this unnecessary adaptation got made!WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Because director Michael Mann is usually pretty dependable, so dude should know better than to remake Miami Vice
with a straight face. We don't want
gritty realism, Michael Mann. We want Crocket in a pastel suit and punching drug lords on a speedboat driven by his pet crocodile Elvis, that' flying through a building while exploding.
John Tucker Must Die
IN A NUTSHELL
Three hot girls from the same high school discover they're all banging the same dude, and decide to get him back by having him fall in love with a pretty girl who' agreed to break his heart. That does indeed sound like a foolproof plan — I'm sure no one,
not even a child of three, could spot a flaw in it. WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
The star of this movie about a kid banging the four hottest girls in his high school
also happens to be the kid who bangs Eva Longoria in Desperate Houswives, or as I call him, the man with the single greatest casting agent in the universe.
The Ant Bully
IN A NUTSHELL
From the director of Jimmy Neutron
comes the story of a boy who takes to torturing a local ant colony, only to be shrunken down to insect size and forced to see how it feels to be on the receiving end of a three-hour train of ant rape. WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Because the director has been quoted as saying that this movie provides a stark political parable for our times, demonstrating his compassion for people of other cultures by equating them with ants.