Well, we've had just about enough original content for one week, thanks very much. Time to sit back, gather our thoughts, and reflect on the lessons the workweek taught us.
We like to think of this as our time for some "Doogie Howser M.D. internal monologue" style reflection. A chance to sit back in front of our green and black screened computer, stare off into space, and think things like "Maybe in the end he knew me better than I knew myself." The fact that our thoughts are narrated by Neil Patrick Harris certainly gets old, but it just as certainly beats middle school, when our thoughts were narrated by a whimsical Daniel Stern.
Since we're in a reflective mood, we've compiled some of our favorite articles from the past week as well as some of our favorite comments from fans and non-fans alike. We hope you'll enjoy this Cracked mix tape to you, our short-term memory impaired readers.
Treason! 8 Celebrities You Won't Believe Aren't American
Cracked calls out a bunch of impostors who want you to believe they're from the US of A.
Notable Comment: Controversy erupted in the comments section over whether we were right to claim that Uncle Sam was based on a British propaganda poster. Editor Jack O'Brien and a reader named onaram got into an argument that is too long-winded and boring to quote here, so we'll just note that "Hulk Hogan' ball sweat" got a mention.
When Genius Fails: The 10 Biggest Wastes of Talent
Here' one about some of the most talented people in the world falling flat on their faces.
Notable Comment: Said digg commenter spinchange: "I was expecting something along the lines of the Enron guys, Gilder & The Fiber/Telco companies of the late 90's, Long Term Capital Management, etc...not really flopped movies."
We were actually going to include the Fiber/Telco companies of the late 90's, and their well documented fiscal irresponsibility, but we decided to go with a joke about a guy eating a trash bag full of popsicle sticks and shitting a scale model of the Spanish Armada instead.
Not Exactly a Stretch: The Easiest Acting Roles Ever
A ditty about movie roles that were so close to the actors real lives, they barely qualify as acting. It' got one of the most insane Gary Busey videos we've ever seen, and we've seen pretty much all of them.
Notable Comment: Some commenters thought the article was about typecast actors, and suggested people like Michael Cera and Steven Seagal (we're pretty sure Seagal doesn't go through his daily life mowing down waves of thugs with his bare hands, but if you have evidence to the contrary, we'd perform most sex acts in order to obtain it).
Digg user maracle 2 suggested Eminem as Jimmy (cough Eminem) Rabbit in 8 Mile which probably should have been on their.
What's It Gonna Be?
And finally, this video, one of the finest pick-up scenes ever put to film, will crawl inside your brain and stay there. If you don't want to spend the rest of the weekend singing lines like, "I want to get my dick in your britches" then you probably shouldn't watch it.
Instagram influencers are often absurd.
A good horror story is hard to pull off.
All commercials are a least a little weird.
These actions stars were so bad at being badass, they were just ass.