ACTOR: Tom Hanks
"You know, ignorance occurs when people are too afraid to talk about a subject. Well, if this little golden statue has earned me anything, I'd like to think it earned me the courage to talk about something that most people in Hollywood are too afraid to discuss- something that I never would have thought to talk about before this film.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am NOT f**king gay. I think gay sex is disgusting. Once when I was 17, I tried to think about it while I was jerking off and went limp-like immediately.
I f**k my wife every night. Hard. Honey, on a scale of one to 10, how hard do I f**k you? No, they can't hear you, honey; show of fingers.
That's a seven, people, and if you read lips you know she said a "solid seven."
Speaking of manly-ass hetero s**t, you should have seen how me and Denzel got down on the ladies in Philly. Let's just say we planted some vanilla chocolate swirl...(singing) on the streets of Philadelphia...nah nah nah nah nah.
That's right, I'm talking about my seed...big up, 'Zel!
Look, the fact is I jumped around on a giant piano a couple years ago and practically won one of these. I don't need this. I could just play a retard like Day Lewis in '88 or do a ridiculous Southern accent like Pacino last year. Better yet, I'll play a Southern retard! I think I even have a script like that, Forrest