Joe Pesci responds to some everyday questions with the typical level-headed charm we've come to expect of him.
Can you help me? You think I been standin' in line all fuckin' day for my fuckin' health? You think I got nothin' better to do than wait around for you to get off your ass and decree me worthy of your assistance? Why don't you come over here and help jerk me off? 'Cause I ain't had to do that since I moved next door to your sister.
What's up? You ask me that like you think I don't know what's up? You don't ask me what's goin' down 'cause I'm short, is that it? Fuckin' little guy couldn't possibly know "what's up?" I got miles of intestines, motherfucker! I got sperms taller than you! Fuck you!
Yeah, I have driven a Ford lately. I took a test drive right over your fuckin' mother. I was gonna send you a picture, 'cause she didn't have time to get the dead deer' dick out of her mouth.
No, I do not want fries with that. Did I ask for fries? What is it about my voice that inspires you to conclude my life would be made better if only I had some fries? You know what? I don't even fuckin' want anything anymore. I'm gonna pull outta line and fuck up your pansy-ass computer. How do you like them fuckin' apples? You arrogant, fry-pushing asshole.