The liberal media has been known to argue that Bill O'Reilly is not as "fair and balanced" as his network lets on. To avoid potential hate mail from pinko Ivy League elitists, CRACKED decided to scrap our scheduled column, "Bill O'Reilly Opines on Eugenics" and have him write about a topic as objective and apolitical as they come: the game of poker.Seat Selection When One Of The Players At The Table Is A Homosexual
Seat selection is an important aspect of poker. Generally, it is preferable to sit to the immediate left of an aggressive player so that you can act after him. This would imply that you can sit to the right of effeminate, characteristically weak homosexuals. However, you don't want to catch what they've got, so just ask for a table change.
Check-Raising A Jew
The Jew' masterful use of deceptive stratagems makes him an excellent poker player. Whether overcharging for a bagel or weaving an insidious plot to conquer 1930s Europe in a Marxist-Zionist international banking conspiracy, The Jew has at his disposal a rich history of duplicitous esurience to aid him in his heretical quest for your chips. His consummate greed must be tempered by check-raises, so that when you check a draw to him, he, cowardly fearing a check-raise, rasps the felt behind you with his long, dirty fingernails.