When it was announced that Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro was being hospitalized after undergoing a very serious surgical procedure, the nation invited a single American media organization to come and document this historic event. That media organization was CRACKED Magazine. We sent our Chief Communist Dictator correspondent Tim Kochenderfer to our Bureau in Havana. He filed this eye-opening, exclusive report.
When I arrived by Castro' bedside, I was disappointed, but not shocked, to discover the Dictator extremely tightlipped. No matter how many questions I asked Castro, he would not say a word. Is this what he asked me down here for? To stone wall me? Finally, I was informed that Castro was in the middle of surgery, that he was unconscious and that they would appreciate it if I would not try to talk to him during the operation.
When Castro came to, I was at his side.
"Agua," he gasped.
"I don't speak French," I replied.
"Water," he translated in a weak voice.
"No, I'm a person," I responded slowly.
"No, give me a glass of water," he groaned.
"You're going to have to call the nurse for that," I answered.
"There' a glass of water two feet from your hand!" he snapped.
"That' my water," I said.
"I'm the President of Cuba!" he fired back.