-Just sign right here.
-Sure, no problem"Â¦it's not working.
-The pen"Â¦it's not-
-Just push down a little harder.
-It's not"Â¦ah, okay. There it goes.
-Great. Alright, that'll do it. Here's your package - have a good one.
-Thanks, you too!
Q: What's the difference between a worm and a lawyer?
A: Everything, pretty much.
Four gay guys walk into a bar, only to find that all of the seats are taken but one. They look at the stool for a moment, thinking. "f**k this," one of them says, "I hate the bar scene anyway." They turn around and leave the bar, then they all rent a hotel room together and have mind-blowing anal sex for hours and hours.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Trick question - they do, actually.
A blonde woman walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a Cosmopolitan. The bartender makes the drink, comes back and puts it on the bar in front of her. "That'll be 7 dollars," he says. She pays for the drink, puts the drink up to her lips, pauses for a moment, then puts the drink back down and calls the bartender back over. "Excuse me," she says, "but can you tell me where your bathroom is? I'm so stupid I just tried to take a sip of my drink but I s**t my pants instead."
Q: How do you punish Helen Keller when she's bad?
A: With a firm, patient, and loving hand.
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