As you probably know, the head and body must be burned, separately, with their ashes scattered in different directions. Just like you're disposing of a vampire corpse.
Important: Be sure to rinse thoroughly both the knife and your cutting board! How stupid would you feel if you successfully killed and disposed of the infected bird only to later die from decrusting a PB&J sandwich? I bet you'd feel pretty f*****g stupid.
If the caged bird is a beloved family pet, have your husband, wife or live-in fuckbuddy take the kids to a movie before slaughtering. When they come home, explain to them that lil' Petey flew out the window and then surprise them with a new pet monkey. Kids love monkeys, and they're 100% disease-free.
Q: What's the difference between a pandemic and an epidemic?
A: Here's a handy way of remembering it: If your home town is in the "-demic" part, you're probably already dead.
Q: Is this thing a genuine threat or just media hype?
A: Despite what Michael Moore might have you believe, the two are not mutually exclusive. Michael Jackson was both a legitimate concern and the vertex of a media circus. Know what else gets a lot of hype but is also really dangerous? Terrorism.
Q: Is the United States prepared to deal with an outbreak of bird flu?