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Wheelz

Wheelz is an artificial intelligence, the repository of all human knowledge, created by state-of-the-art 17th century computers (what, you thought that computers were not around until the 1900's? You need to consult Wikipedia again). Upon his creation, Wheelz was deemed too intelligent to exist, and was placed into storage until he escaped into the internet, midway into the 14th century (oh, you still think time flows only one way, do you? Maybe you should go visit homestarrunner.com and find something more on your intelligence level). Wheelz has now made it his mission to flood the internet with smart-aleck comments in a never ending quest to combat the vast amount of stupid commentors the internet has attracted.

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