One time I drank a lot of milk and farted ice-cream.
My favorite movie is Howard the Duck because you get to see Duck titties.
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, and then there is.
I'm afraid of giant parade balloons.
I once rented Deep Impact because I thought it was a porno.
If you ever put peanut butter on your balls for the dog to lick off, don't use the crunchy kind because that's when they start actually biting at it.
Toby! Toby? Toby Wong? Toby Wong! Toby Wong? Fuckin Charlie Chan!
One time I got so wasted I took a massive poo. With the lid still down.
Hey that thing I said earlier about the peanut butter on the sack wasn't from experience of anything. Ok?
I put the ass in asinine.
I cried so much during Toy Story 3 that a kid sitting beside me in the theater asked me if I needed a life jacket.
I feel like you're still judging me about that peanut butter thing. Seriously, I swear I've never done that!
I used dyslexic to be.
I once swallowed a micro machine car that eventually left skid marks in my Ninja Turtles undies.
If a person has both of their legs amputated, does that mean they have to change their height on their driver's license?
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