John Cheese

John Cheese's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: John Cheese
  • Location: Illinois
  • Member Since: April 15th, 2008
  • Last Seen: May 24th, 2012 11:56 am
  • Personal tag line: "UGH!"
  • Message board posts: 3,098

About John Cheese

I'm tall.

Articles

  1. 8 Scenes That Prove Hollywood Doesn't Get Technology
    By: John Cheese | | 2,137,552 views
  2. 6 Things Our Kids Just Plain Won't Get
    By: John Cheese | | 1,852,330 views
  3. 7 Terrible Life Lessons Learned from 'The Neverending Story'
    By: John Cheese | | 810,611 views
  4. Quitting Smoking: 6 Things You Notice About the Stupid World
    By: John Cheese | | 1,056,925 views
  5. 5 Ways to Avoid Your Terrible Parents' Mistakes
    By: John Cheese | | 1,018,676 views
  6. The 5 Most Implausible Old School Rap Songs
    By: John Cheese, David Wong | | 798,942 views
  7. 5 Terrifying Online Trends (Invented By the News Media)
    By: John Cheese | | 1,017,842 views
  8. 5 Gaming Technologies That Are Making Virtual Sex a Reality
    By: John Cheese | | 929,165 views
  9. 5 Wacky Internet Pranks That Can Get You Jail Time
    By: John Cheese | | 1,105,862 views
  10. Worst Job Ever: Video Game Sewer Repair
    By: John Cheese | | 195,043 views
  11. 12 Things You'll Wish You'd Never Seen Under a Microscope
    By: John Cheese | | 3,064,488 views
  12. 5 Ways Television Went Crazy Since I Quit Watching in 2003
    By: John Cheese | | 1,634,325 views
  13. The 4 Most Important Things to Know as a Gamer Parent
    By: John Cheese | | 1,513,647 views
  14. 7 Impractical Rock Star Fashions We Wish Had Caught On
    By: John Cheese | | 1,094,295 views
  15. 5 Internet Life Lessons Parents Need to Start Teaching Kids
    By: John Cheese | | 1,575,632 views
  16. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking
    By: John Cheese | | 2,525,577 views
  17. 26 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Shouldn't Exist
    By: John Cheese | | 3,326,593 views
  18. The Top 10 Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wanted to See
    By: John Cheese | | 5,203,130 views
  19. Having Fun With 419 Scammers
    By: John Cheese | | 318,061 views

Columns

  1. 5 Reasons You Should Never Take Advice from Celebrities
    By: John Cheese | | 748,627 views
  2. 5 Reasons 'Diablo III' Represents Gaming's Annoying Future
    By: John Cheese | | 1,072,395 views
  3. 5 Hidden Land Mines of Parenthood That Can Blow Up Your Life
    By: John Cheese | | 802,053 views
  4. 5 Dorky Hobbies Taken to Badass Extremes
    By: John Cheese | | 978,437 views
  5. The 10 Most Satisfying Cases of Hecklers Getting Destroyed
    By: John Cheese | | 1,732,340 views
  6. The 4 Easiest Ways to Accidentally Ruin Your Relationship
    By: John Cheese | | 927,839 views
  7. The 6 Most Quoted Pieces of Advice (That Are Usually Wrong)
    By: John Cheese | | 1,038,960 views
  8. 5 Dismissive Arguments That You Only Use When You're Wrong
    By: John Cheese | | 1,021,165 views
  9. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Having a Career
    By: John Cheese | | 718,378 views
  10. 4 Old Sayings About Family That Are (Sometimes) B.S.
    By: John Cheese | | 688,703 views
  11. 5 Things You Don't Learn About High School Until Too Late
    By: John Cheese | | 1,160,215 views
  12. 5 Reasons Today Isn't Going to Suck
    By: John Cheese | | 823,044 views
  13. 5 Things Spammers Ruined While We Weren't Paying Attention
    By: John Cheese | | 697,436 views
  14. 5 Life Lessons You Only Learn Through Quitting Smoking
    By: John Cheese | | 776,791 views
  15. 5 Common Anti-Internet Arguments (That Are Statistically BS)
    By: John Cheese | | 728,603 views
  16. 5 Types of People Who Always Give Terrible Advice
    By: John Cheese | | 821,835 views
  17. 5 Things You Should Know Before Trying to Fix Your Computer
    By: John Cheese | | 1,093,911 views
  18. The 6 Stupidest Things We Use to Judge People We Don't Know
    By: John Cheese | | 1,158,548 views
  19. The 5 Stupidest Habits You Develop Growing Up Poor
    By: John Cheese | | 3,193,398 views
  20. 7 Things You Don't Realize About Addiction (Until You Quit)
    By: John Cheese | | 989,170 views
  21. The 5 Reasons Marriage Scares Men (Aren't What You Think)
    By: John Cheese | | 1,139,643 views
  22. 5 Reasons Your New Year's Resolution Is Going to Fail
    By: John Cheese | | 442,661 views
  23. A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party
    By: John Cheese | | 90,012 views
  24. 4 Awful Ways The Internet Is Tainting Everything Else
    By: John Cheese | | 857,286 views
  25. 5 Terrible Things You Can't Stop Your Children From Doing
    By: John Cheese | | 1,039,448 views
  26. 5 Reasons Money Can Buy Happiness
    By: John Cheese | | 795,870 views
  27. 9 YouTube Videos That Prove Anyone Can Get Sober
    By: John Cheese | | 409,961 views
  28. 5 Thanksgiving Disasters You're Probably Not Prepared For
    By: John Cheese | | 678,619 views
  29. 5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation
    By: John Cheese | | 2,191,795 views
  30. 5 Reasons You Don't Miss Your 20s When They're Over
    By: John Cheese | | 1,192,142 views
  31. 7 Halloween Costumes That Never Look as Cool as You Think
    By: John Cheese | | 1,068,169 views
  32. 5 Reasons Moving Sucks (And Costs) More Than You Expect
    By: John Cheese | | 478,588 views
  33. 5 Parental Dick Moves You Hate (Until You're a Parent)
    By: John Cheese | | 1,025,158 views
  34. 5 Unexpected Causes of Awkward Conversations With Your Kids
    By: John Cheese | | 811,235 views
  35. 5 Bad Ideas for Dealing With Bullies You Learned in Movies
    By: John Cheese | | 809,795 views
  36. 5 Ways You Know It's Time to Get Married
    By: John Cheese | | 1,598,119 views
  37. 5 Ways to Tell You're Getting Too Old for Video Games
    By: John Cheese, David Wong | | 1,452,154 views
  38. 5 Bits of Advice That Don't Make Sense Until It's Too Late
    By: John Cheese | | 1,563,897 views
  39. 5 Bizarre Outbursts By Celebrities You Thought Were Sane
    By: John Cheese | | 1,178,051 views
  40. The 5 Most Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Babies
    By: John Cheese | | 1,229,849 views
  41. 6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You
    By: John Cheese | | 2,342,150 views
  42. 5 Questions You Need to Ask (To Avoid Ruining Your Life)
    By: John Cheese | | 1,192,880 views
  43. 5 Things I Can't Believe Websites Are Still Doing
    By: John Cheese | | 1,348,658 views
  44. 5 Visions of the Future From Experts (Who Should Be Fired)
    By: John Cheese | | 717,178 views
  45. 5 Incredibly Uncomfortable Yet SFW Sex Videos
    By: John Cheese | | 856,980 views
  46. 5 Crucial Lessons Learned by Watching Kids Play Video Games
    By: John Cheese | | 1,065,338 views
  47. 5 Pro-Marijuana Arguments That Aren't Helping
    By: John Cheese | | 1,424,891 views
  48. 4 Anger Management Tips the Internet Could Really Use
    By: John Cheese | | 593,108 views
  49. 5 Ways Methamphetamine Can Make You a New Person
    By: John Cheese | | 693,103 views
  50. 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better
    By: John Cheese | | 1,776,034 views
  51. 5 Reasons Internet Access in America is a Disaster
    By: John Cheese | | 742,256 views
  52. 5 Unhelpful People You Meet in Every Hospital
    By: John Cheese | | 682,828 views
  53. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor
    By: John Cheese | | 2,393,794 views
  54. 6 Ad Campaigns That Prove Humanity Is Doomed
    By: John Cheese | | 897,684 views
  55. 5 Reasons Pro Wrestlers are the Best Actors in the World
    By: John Cheese | | 833,814 views

Videos

  1. If The Videos You Watched In Science Class Were Rated R
    By: John Cheese | | 282,748 views

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