6 Kids' Movie Fan Theories That'll Blow Your Adult Mind

Fans taking time to come up with theories about what really took place in a movie or TV show seems like the most pointless activity, even if they had literally nothing else going on in their lives. But we've always loved them for two reasons: A) It basically creates a brand-new story if you revisit it with the theory in mind, and B) the theory is sometimes a lot more clever than what the original writers came up with.

So let's once again indulge the fans' craziness and consider the possibility that ...

#6. Jessie From Toy Story Was Owned (And Abandoned) By Andy's Mom

Pixar

Toy Story is an entire film franchise devoted to making us feel retroactively guilty about the toys we've lost/given away/melted with blowtorches over the years. Toy Story 2, for instance, features the sad story of Jessie, a happy-go-lucky cowgirl doll abandoned by her once-loyal owner, a girl named Emily, whom she never saw again ... or did she? This viral fan theory set out to prove that Emily grew up to be none other than Andy's mom.

Pixar
Who is divorced, responsible for the Holocaust, and secretly an alien (coming to a future article).

Why It's Not That Crazy:

Look at Andy's cowboy hat above, aka one possible reason why he's so sad in the image, since it looks nothing like his favorite toy's hat. Now look at Jessie's hat:

Pixar

And look at the hat on Emily's childhood bed (in the '60s or '70s):

Pixar
Don't look at her boot lamp, though. We're calling dibs.

It's the same freaking hat -- passed to Andy from his mother, who apparently misplaced the white lace in the middle at some point, possibly after running out of TP in the bathroom one time (you can still see the faint imprint where it used to go, though). While we're at it, look at Andy's mom and Emily side-by-side:

Pixar
If they're not the same person, Pixar's getting pretty lazy at character design.

True, Jessie and Andy's mom don't recognize each other, but it's been a long time. There's no reason Andy's mom would realize Jessie was her exact same childhood toy, and there's no guarantee Jessie would recognize Emily as an adult. She's used to living life as an immortal, unchanging plastic being, so the idea that her old friend could morph into an even bigger giant with increasingly decaying flesh on her face must seem pretty bizarre. Finally, as you may have guessed from the fact that we keep calling her "Andy's mom," the character's name is never mentioned in the movies, so it could easily be Emily.

Sure, the creators themselves have seemingly shot this theory down, but this is Pixar we're talking about -- they could simply be lying to try to maximize the amount of emotional damage they'll do to us with the next movie.

#5. There Are No Parents In Pokemon Because It Takes Place After A War

Nintendo

The Pokemon franchise is fairly creepy as-is, since it focuses on taking cute, cuddly creatures and having them beat each other until they pass out, sometimes in front of large crowds. It's basically dog-fighting, if dogs could shoot lightning bolts. If this persistent theory is to be believed, though, the original games are even more fucked up than we thought: They take place after a horrible war that killed pretty much the entire adult male population in the region, leaving the kids tragically free to go on dangerous journeys.

Game Freak
Yep, that's why your character's dad isn't around. Not because you're an annoying turd.

Why It's Not That Crazy:

It's not just the suspicious lack of adults who aren't super old and thus not fit to carry a rifle -- it's that those you do see in the game are either in organized crime (a sector of society that's kinda difficult to draft) or the military. Like Lt. Surge, who at one point says:

Nintendo
"I mean, it could get pretty cold and lonely out there in the trenches every night ..."

Considering that Pokemon takes place in a fictional universe, it's clear he's not referring to a war from our history. In fact, his specific mention of using Pokemon in war -- probably as tools of war -- kind of adds another creepy aspect to these young children training to fight each other with Pokemon. Are they training for another war? Is the war still going on? Have we been playing child soldier training simulators all these years?

Some fans have gone so far as to analyze the sociopolitical situation shown in the games to determine the reason for the war: Your region, Kanto, must have tried to annex the neighboring one, Johto. After all, what kind of country goes out of its way not to mention a war that just ended? The kind that tried to do something awful and lost.

4Kids Entertainment
Oh, hi there.

#4. Harry Potter's Friend Ron Can Predict The Future With Eerie Accuracy

Warner Bros.

Because even the most useless characters in fiction have armies of devoted fans these days, this long-standing theory posits that Harry Potter's ass-clown friend Ron Weasley has fantastic future-predicting powers. Technically, the theory says Harry has the powers too, but we're more surprised at the Ron part. Because, well, look at this little shit:

Warner Bros.
It's nice that J.K. Rowling added someone the crayon-eating kids in class can relate to.

Why It's Not That Crazy:

Unlike most Harry Potter fan theories ("Harry eventually comes to our dimension and becomes my husband!"), this one is actually in the books. In Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, Harry and Ron take an elective class about divination (seeing the future), which is basically the astrology of the wizard world: Everyone treats it as a joke, and the lady who teaches it almost definitely gets flaming turds on her doorstep on a regular basis. So, in order to pass the class, the bored Harry and Ron just make up some random predictions on the spot ... all of which happen to come true.

For instance, Ron correctly predicts that he'll almost drown and that Harry will be stabbed in the back by someone he thought was a friend (Harry is betrayed by Doctor Who, posing as someone else). It's pretty clear that Rowling just did this as a fun bit of foreshadowing, but there's way more: In the second book, Chamber Of Secrets, Ron dismissively tells his worried mother, "D'you honestly think [Voldemort]'s going to be hiding behind a bookshelf in Flourish and Blotts?" Well, yeah. Part of Voldemort's soul happens to be hidden in a diary that is given to Ron's sister in that same bookstore.

Warner Bros.
"Wow, his evil influence made you write 'my brother's a shithead' all over the diary."
"This is my math notebook."

Also in Chamber Of Secrets, Ron and Harry come across an award dedicated to a student called Tom Riddle. Ron jokingly suggests that maybe Tom murdered the girl whose ghost haunts the school's bathrooms -- which is exactly what happened. Later, in Prisoner Of Azkaban, Ron interprets some leaves to be prophesizing that Harry might join the Ministry of Magic and will get a sudden influx of gold. Both of these come true. So Ron is either clairvoyant or is the all-powerful God of the Harry Potter universe and all reality bends to his will.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here

408 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!