Death in most games produces nothing more than a "Game Over" screen and the immediate opportunity to try again (a feature that would be really nice to see patched into real life). But, a few game developers look down on their less skilled consumers with such disdain that they've devised special methods for making them feel like complete losers -- because why settle for momentary frustration when you can make total strangers feel like they're as big of a failure at enjoying an escapist fantasy as it's assumed they are in real life?
5Metal Gear Solid V Makes It Clear You're A Chicken
The Metal Gear Solid franchise is more famous for its lengthy cutscenes that ramble on about politics, war, and philosophy than it is for actually being fun to play. So, naturally, gamers who bought Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain in the hopes of experiencing another intriguing storyline were punished for screwing up stealth missions by having a chicken hat shoved over protagonist Solid Snake's grizzled visage.
"I'm still less ridiculous than that guy who could shoot hornets."
Get killed by the same enemy a mere three times in a row, and the impatient game decides that you need help. And yes, this is the same franchise that once made you figure out that you needed to lug an owl around in your pants in order to solve a puzzle. The chicken hat lets you accidentally wander into a guard's vision three times before he actually sees you, so the game's essentially saying, "You're so bad at this stealth game that we've removed the stealth. Enjoy looking like the mascot for a bad family chicken restaurant, champ."
"Kick your dinner plans into Chicken Gear!"
The hat itself seems disappointed by the player's ineptitude, and, apparently, it's turned to smoking pot to cope with its emotions. You have to look right into its eyes throughout every cutscene that's supposed to be serious, but end up completely ruined by the intrusion of a cartoon chicken headpiece. Come on, some people just want to enjoy the story. That's like making moviegoers wear dunce caps if they fail preshow trivia about the prequel.
While we're on the subject of long-running franchises and head accessories ...
4Punch-Out!! Gives You A Special Helmet
Who doesn't love Punch-Out!!? It's a '80s classic people still refer to whenever maddeningly difficult games and absurd racial stereotypes are the topic of conversation. 2009's Punch-Out!! reboot continued the tradition of giving double the exclamation points and half the fucks, as the challenging game shows absolutely no sympathy when your scrawny boxer gets his ass beat by a giant, rampaging gorilla.
"I want a good, clean fight, so no shit flinging."
You need to win 27 fights to beat the game, and, if you manage to rack up a whopping 100 losses on your way, the game concludes that you're as bad at fictional boxing as you presumably would be at the real kind. So, you're given an "interesting gift" in the form of a damage-reducing helmet.
Be it a fight or a playground, getting a special helmet just screams "vote of confidence."
Think about the logic of this. The commissioner of the league himself sent you a helmet to protect you. What does that make you in the commissioner's eyes? A goddamn liability he can't get rid of because you funded the league by buying the game. Nothing says you're terrible at games like a fictional official trying to cover his ass by making sure you don't get permanent brain damage and sue. And this is the same guy who lets people fight a literal gorilla, so you have to go pretty far to set off his alarms.