We're not assembling a list of famous perverts to shame them or sully their memories -- many of us would have exactly this amount of sex if our positions in life allowed it. But we get so tied up in slut-shaming contemporary celebrities that it's easy to forget how some of history's greatest minds spent most their energy having the nastiest sex they could get their hands on.
For instance ...
5H.G. Wells Was the Science Fiction Casanova
H.G. Wells would be a giant among writers even if he had done nothing but write War of the Worlds, considering that novel pretty much invented the "alien invasion" genre. But he could also boast classics such as The Island of Doctor Moreau, The Time Machine, and The Invisible Man (at that point, the fucker was just showing off). So clearly, we should focus on how this iconic author was a raging and prolific torrent of sexuality -- despite being a nerdy science fiction writer and sounding like this (about 25 seconds in):
He's no Barry White, but that, friends, is the squeak of love.
Wells, a rotund and decidedly un-Fabio-like man, behaved himself during his first marriage. However, after he divorced his first wife and married Jane Wells in 1895, he realized he was famous, wealthy, and freshly blessed with a wife who was willing to tolerate nearly any shenanigans he and his penis got up to. So he spent the rest of his life porking anything that moved.
Not only were his affairs many and varied, but he meticulously recorded each one in a diary, with detailed notes. There were women over 20 years his junior. There was Rebecca West, a famous feminist novelist, who apparently called him "My Lord, the Jaguar" for reasons that are probably best left unspeculated upon. There was almost certainly at least one Russian spy. All of them and many more were lovingly described in Wells's Ledger of Lecher, with graphic details that offered fascinating windows to the man's life. One lover was "most interestingly hairy." Another was an Australian novelist whom he boned atop a bad review, which they ceremonially burned afterwards, because why not?
He named the tripods in War of the Worlds after his ladies' nickname for him.
But what about Mrs. Wells? Was she not distraught over H.G.'s constant running-around-having-sex-with-his-friends'-daughters antics? Strangely enough, no. Wells religiously reported his affairs at home, and even asked for permission to fool around, generally receiving little more than "Oh, you" reactions from Jane. One of the few times she genuinely shocked Wells by almost losing her temper was when he wanted to leave the upbringing of his and West's child to Jane. Her reply: "For God's sake, H.G.! Not again!"
4Charles Lindbergh Had Multiple Families
You may only know Charles Lindbergh as the heroic aviator who became world-famous for flying across the Atlantic alone in a tiny airplane without dying. But he was also one of the world's biggest celebrities in his day, becoming a prize-winning author and (unintentionally) the target of one of the most infamous crimes in modern history. He was always a straightlaced type, a seemingly stiff and puritanical family man (even if he was a bit of a Nazi sympathizer).
And a family man he was. So much, in fact, that he kept three separate secret lovers, fathered a total of seven children among them, and divided his Dad Time between these families.
His choices for secret lovers were absolutely classic porn film fodder, too; one was his secretary, and the other two were sisters. How did that happen? Well, taking advantage of being one of the few people in the world who actively flew around at that point, Lindbergh happily chased tail in Europe. First to succumb to his high-flying charm was his secretary Valeska, who later introduced him to her friends, the sisters Brigitte and Marietta, both of whom he'd go on to sex. All three women had his children, although none of them ever discussed this in public, choosing to honor a vow of secrecy they gave to Lindbergh. We only know about this because Brigitte's children chose to bring the subject to light after their mother died in 2001, thoroughly surprising the "official" Lindbergh children.
We're not lawyers, but we think these bastards now technically own half of Boeing.
Despite Charles being a serial adulterer and loudly pro-Nazi, all three women remained loyal to him and never married another man. This might be because Lindberg loved these ladies even more than he loved racial purity; both Brigitte and Marietta had walking disabilities, yet Eugenics Charlie didn't give a shit. There's also the fact that, despite having a lot of Dad shoes to fill, Lindbergh damn well filled them all. By all accounts, he was a loving (if rather absent) father and husband to his families left and right.
Of course, some of his offspring only knew him by a fake name, but hey, you can't have everything.