#2. The Incredibly Friendly Biker-Type Gangs of Disneyland
Boasting hardcore gang names like the Wonderlanders, the Hidden Mickeys, Walt's Misfits, and the Main Street Elite, the 20+ roving gangs of Disneyland wear denim vests with custom-made patches honoring their favorite characters and rides.
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Amazingly, not one shout-out to "Guy Who Killed Bambi's Mom."
If you squint your eyes from a great distance, their images might initially suggest a pack of drunken psychopaths blasting past the admission gates in their Harleys to fuck up Goofy and just plain fuck Snow White, but, of course, the truth is that everybody in Heck's Angels is a complete teddy bear.
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Even their mugshots are adorable.
Disney Social Clubs (their preferred nomenclature) eschew motorcycles and switchblades in favor of flying elephants and snow cones. They're very kid-friendly, accepting of all races, genders, and sexual orientations, and extremely respectful of other organizations. It's basically how gangs in Canada work. There aren't even any infringing on a rival's territory, but that's mostly because the whole park is Walt's territory, and -- dead or not -- that guy will seriously cut your face for the slightest offense.
"This was our friend's ... they buried him under the Haunted Mansion."
If you're interested in joining a Disneyland Gang, induction typically involves an intense Sons of Anarchy-style hazing process, consisting of asking nicely, showing up on time, and always letting your conscience be your guide. Who knows? Maybe you'll rise up in the ranks and branch off to form your own group. The Teacup Terrors need to be a thing.
"Daddy, can we form the Dumbo Crow Brigade?"
"Sorry, honey, the Swedish greasers already claimed that one."
#1. The Leather-Clad Cowboy Metalheads of Botswana
Landlocked southern Africa is very hot and very humid -- not exactly black leather weather. So, naturally, that is all the cowboy metalheads of Botswana wear. Well, that, and only the most hardcore of fanny packs.
"It's where I carry the fucks I give. It's empty."
The Botswana metalheads (complete with amazing nicknames like Bone Machine, Apothecary Dethrok, and Venerated Villain) are a small, 1,500-strong subculture devoted to music normally associated with white American kids from the suburbs whose parents totally don't understand them. But they don't just look the part of insane Roadie Warriors; they're pretty damn metal in practice, too. They carry around knives and drink from hollow cow horns. Shake their hands, and they'll shake your entire body.
"I can't keep the guitar in its case because I tricked that out Desperado style."
Of course, many of these Cowboy Terminator Metalheads play their own music, which sounds like ... heavy metal. What were you expecting?
But despite their scene, wardrobe, and general behavior centering entirely on power and aggression, they insist they're not thugs or bullies. They see themselves as role models and do all they can to help both their communities and their "brothers in metal."
They'll even helpfully floss your hard-to-reach back teeth if you ask politely.
Related Reading: Down to get even crazier? Check out these subcultures that are crazy, even for Japan. And have you heard about these lunatics who want to be living anime characters? But hey, the Japanese 'panty-sniffing' craze isn't originally from the island. We brought it to them.