We've shown you the most unbelievable, badass and just plain stupid street-legal vehicles once before, but while the list was impressive, it was far from exhaustive. As long as there are wheels to spin and jet engines to slap on things that should not have jet engines, mankind's irrepressible need to go ungodly speeds while looking completely ludicrous shall not be sated.
#8. The World's Smallest Car
That adorable little fella up there is Wind Up, a micro-machine that, yes, is somehow street legal, despite looking like a nervous cough would explode it into shrapnel. If Perry Watkins' ridiculous, 41-inch-high, 26-inch-wide car looks like a coin-operated children's ride, that's because it is a coin-operated children's ride -- with a chassis from a Shanghai Shenke quad bike and wheels from a Monkey motorcycle. This is what you look like driving it:
Ben Stansall / Getty
Seats one adult, or 15 clowns.
Oh, and you get into it like this:
Patrik Stollarz / Getty
There's something appropriate about opening it like a coffin.
To qualify this thing as street legal, Watkins and the folks at Perrywinkle Customs made sure that the Wind Up could hit speeds of up to 40 mph and came equipped with a windshield wiper. So never mind that you're barreling down the street in live traffic crammed into a fetal ball, protected from asphalt death by the shell of a kiddie ride -- you can see where you're going when it rains. Safety first.
#7. The Jet Motorcycle
Jetpower Bikes (Warning: Loud)
Ain't nothing cooler than fighter jets and motorcycles. Just ask Top Gun; Top Gun would tell you (if Top Gun could talk). Tony Pandolfo, from Orlando, Florida, understood this truth perfectly. That's why he did the most reasonable, logical thing any man has ever done: He put the jet fuel starter from an F-14 into a motorcycle. A Suzuki Hayabusa, to be exact -- a bike that is already as notoriously crazy as a bag full of wet cats. Tony looked down at one of the most arguably awesomely dangerous motorcycles in the world, and he thought, "Now, why on earth isn't that on fire?" So he corrected that error.
The Jet Hayabusa now fires 8-foot-long flames from the afterburner.
Jetpower Bikes (Warning: Loud)
"Try tailgating me now!"
And though he won't go public with the exact specs of the jet bike (in general, the less the government knows about your ad hoc superhero vehicles, the better) -- he does say it "easily accelerates to 100 mph." It's supposedly pretty easy to ride as well. Since there are obviously no gears in a friggin' jet engine, the Jet Hayabusa operates more like an automatic scooter -- you only need a throttle and a brake. Hey, if the other bikers make fun of your overblown moped, guess who's got two thumbs, an unburned face and a flamethrower switch? Not those guys; not anymore.
So, somebody out there is riding around on the most ridiculously suicidal vehicle imaginable, just one pothole away from taking out the whole block in a literal blaze of glory. And that somebody could be you! The Jet Hayabusa is actually on sale to the public for about 60 grand. If you're interested in one, just head on over to the worst website ever designed: If you make it past the start up animation, you get a 20 percent discount on PTSD treatments.
More people have been killed by this than by riding the bike.
#6. The Flatmobile
If you've ever wondered what the Batmobile would look like after going through a compactor at a junkyard, here's your answer.
"We don't care who you are; in Gotham City, 'No Parking' means no parking."
The world's most badass slot car is the brainchild of Perry Watkins, and it is the lowest street-legal vehicle on the road, at only 19 inches tall. Somewhere, a lone chollo is shedding a single tear at the unspeakable beauty of its lowness. Its top speed is only around 100 mph, so while it isn't the fastest thing on the road, it's still the only vehicle capable of passing without changing lanes.
"Toll booths can suck it."
The Flatmobile is so short that it's not legal to operate at night, because the headlights are too low -- we guess they don't adequately light up the 10-foot visibility your 19-inch ground clearance gives you. But hey, if visibility is your issue, you could always just blaze up the night sky with the fireball that shoots out of the jet engine on the back.
#5. Il Tempo Gigante
Behold! An exact replica of the Pinchcliffe Grand Prix car! I'm sorry -- maybe you didn't read that right. It's the fucking Pinchcliffe Grand Prix car! Hmm ... apparently you're not one of the 5.5 million people who bought a ticket to see the blockbuster 1975 film Pinchcliffe Grand Prix. (Baffling note: There were only 4 million people in Norway in 1975.) So this is your first time meeting the inexplicably named Il Tempo Gigante, the premier automotive phallic symbol of every middle-aged man in Norway.
"Does it come in flesh-colored?"
At first blush, Il Tempo looks like a charming, old-timey ride -- the Norwegian version of the Cheaper by the Dozen car -- but make no mistake: This thing hauls ass, with a top speed of 200 mph. Just listen to it pull away:
Modeled after the movie's dual-engine behemoth, and with two engines of its own developing a collective 1,200 horsepower, Il Tempo Gigante is mostly only seen as a bright, golden, dong-shaped blur on the motorways. But if you do catch up to it, you'll find it equipped with the same ludicrous gadgets from the movie version, including a functional TV and bar.
It's like the car's begging you to commit vehicular manslaughter.
Look closer and notice the ridiculous scale of the roadster as compared to the driver. That's not a Norwegian Oompa Loompa in the pilot's seat; the car is 22 feet long and weighs over 3 tons. That's bigger than most limousines, and most limousines don't bust 200 mph (the G-forces would make getting to second base with your prom date way too complicated).