4Certain Fruits and Vegetables Give You a Sexy Tan
This is one of those things that you'd think only works in a cartoon. "Eat too many carrots, and you'll turn orange!" But it happens. And it may help you get dates.
So much food on the brain right now.
First, you need to learn what carotenoids are. They're color pigments that can be found in several fruits and vegetables such as carrots, plums and cucumbers. They contribute to human skin color, giving it a yellowish tint. In excessive amounts, they can even cause yellow-orange discoloration of the skin. So they're essentially a biological version of Cheeto dust, if Cheeto dust made you look vaguely jaundiced and/or anemic.
"This 10-carrot-per-day habit is killing my liver."
So, unless you have an extremely serious carrot-eating problem or are a cartoon rabbit, why should you care? Well, studies have shown that there is a noticeable connection between carotenoid coloration and how others see you. Specifically, how much they want to see you naked.
A series of studies by three U.K. scientists looked into the relationship between the pigments that affect skin color (melanin and carotenoid) and perceived appearance. The results showed a preference for light, yellow skin tone, with participants being more appreciative of carotenoid coloration than melanin coloration. They also expressed an unnatural fondness for Nick Stahl's performance in Sin City.
"It's the 'child killer' tan the whole nation is talking about!"
The scientists conducting the studies concluded that carotenoid coloration is "a valid cue to human health which is perceptible in a way that is relevant to mate choice." Basically, the yellow/orange tint is indicative of a healthy lifestyle, which portrays the person bearing said tint as a more desirable romantic companion. So if you're continually failing with the opposite sex, theoretically it's because you just aren't orange enough.*
*We'll just let you make your own Jersey Shore joke there, we're kind of tired of them.
As tired as Snooki is of deep-throating carrots. Zing!
3Grapefruit Can Mess With Your Medication
OK, maybe it's not shocking that too much coffee and chemical-filled candy can mess with your system. But grapefruit?
Grapefruit is the hallmark of a healthy breakfast, damn it! It contains vitamin C and antioxidants, and it can help lower cholesterol. It seems like the only health problem related to the grapefruit would be if it were fired out of a cannon directly into your face.
Although the cholesterol level of your resulting head wound would be inspirational.
Well, it turns out grapefruit blocks certain enzymes in the small intestine that break down medications. These enzymes normally regulate the amount of whatever drug you've consumed that gets absorbed into your body. If you take your medication (or "medication," if your pharmacist wears a denim vest and answers to "Ratboy") when you have grapefruit in your system, you get a much larger dose of the drug than you normally would.
"I'm so Xanaxed out right now, I almost poured you a screwdriver."
As little as one glass of grapefruit juice can elicit the maximum blocking effect, which can often last for more than 24 hours. Grapefruit affects so many medications that there's even a list of them on Wikipedia.
It includes an anti-diarrhea drug and an anti-psychotic, effectively killing two birds with one stone.
The effect can be hazardous and, yes, even fatal in some cases. If you do take medication, your best bet is to just cut grapefruit out of your diet completely and eat those fudge Pop-Tarts like the rest of us. Or, you know, ask your doctor. Whatever.