5 Ridiculous Ancient Beliefs That Turned Out to Be True

Many cultures either worship the Sun as a deity or at least assign it some kind of personality (for instance, at the time of this writing, it's July and the Sun seems goddamned furious with us).

It's only a matter of time until it plummets angrily from the sky to kill us.
But our favorite depiction has to be from Native American folklore (particularly the Paiute tribes in the Western U.S.) who have given the whole cosmos a Silence of the Lambs twist.
Their story goes that the reason the stars disappear during the day is because they're running away from the Sun. Why? Because the Sun is known to eat them.

In fact, the reason the sun emits light is because of the stars he's digesting.
The Science:It is now thought that when the universe was formed, all the stars that were born were freaking huge, and they all were made almost completely out of hydrogen and helium. Metal was virtually non-existent. It was formed, however, as the first stars aged and then finally exploded.
After billions of years of this happening, this metal shrapnel was spread thoroughly around the universe, the remains of those stars getting swallowed up by newer ones. Like our very own Sun. It shines with the remains of old stars, just like the legend says.
Granted, the Paiute also believed the Moon was the Sun's wife and that they could give birth to more stars, presumably via some Sun-on-Moon fucking.

"Big dipper" indeed.
But give the guys a break. If you can't work a little erotic fan-fiction into your cosmology then why even bother?

Once again, the Old Testament is far from the only place where you find an "Adam and Eve" couple who gives birth to all of humanity. In Norse mythology, their Adam and Eve were named Ask and Embla.

It's a scene that can probably be found airbrushed on countless vans.
The Mongols tell of the first human couple being born out of clay. In Korea, the story goes that a tiger was transformed into the first woman, who was impregnated by the god Hwan-Ung. The Navajo say the first man and first woman were formed from ears of corn.

Like Nebraska fans.
You get the idea. It's all very silly, really, the idea that all of humanity came from one woman and one man.
Yet...
The Science:It starts with the genes. There are certain genes (mitochondrial genes) that you can pretty much only inherit from your mother. What scientists found was that these genes are remarkably similar in every single person, everywhere. That led them to believe that there was in fact one single woman, who lived about 200,000 years ago, who donated this genetic material to every human on Earth. The researchers promptly nicknamed her "Eve."

Now, it's not that she was the only woman on Earth. And as far as we know, she was not made from an ear of corn. It's just that whatever other women were on Earth at the time didn't pass their genes down (the lines died out, or they only had sons, etc).
Then, just 60,000 years ago, there was a guy who scientists call Y-chromosomal Adam.

He was an unnamed dude who also lived in Africa, who managed to pass on his DNA to every single male reading this.
Look around. Every guy in the U.S., China, India, Russia, everywhere. Every dude connected to the material from one African man's balls.
Seriously, we should build a monument to them.

Or we could just build two replicas of Epcot Center next door to this thing.
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If the tower of Babel happened after the flood wouldn't that make EVERYONE a direct descendant of Noah?
ReplyWhat say you, fuzzy britches?
Reply
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Maybe there are other ancestors with the same genes from that time period (or before) too. Just because you find one doesn't mean there is only one. None of this has to relate to "god" or any deity. Now the whole Noah's ark thing is illogical, maybe a tidal wave cause by a meteorite killed off many people, but there wouldn't be some boat the size of 1000+ Nimitz class aircraft carriers.
ReplyHold up, the Korean woman used to be a BEAR, not a tiger!The tiger tried and *failed* to become human.
Replyhold the f**k up, the Korean women used to be a BEAR, not a tiger! The tiger tried and failed to become human!
ReplyThe trouble with the Big Bang theory is basically general inability to really "prove" it (well from a strictly logical point of view it is impossible to really "prove" anything exists at all, but people rarely think like that without going mad). But the trouble with science is that it is basically speculation based on observations. Now, with most science, we can test our theories,but with the "origin of everything" theories everything is basically guesswork and consensus. A scientist thought it sounded good, his peers agreed and now the "Big Bang" theory is the accepted norm. Now, I would not have a problem with this if anybody who disagrees or challenges that theory is basically called a nut, and that all research in this area is based on the assumption that the big bang definitely happened. For further information see Ben Stiens "Expelled"
ReplyScience would be nowhere without theories in the first place. Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, String Theory, Theory of Evolution, Big Bang Theory. Gravity as we accept it now is actually a theory, physics, is based on theory.
I enjoyed most of the article but since you don't know why God wanted to stop the tower of babel I'll point out that God had commanded people to be scattered across the face of the earth. Part of the stated purpose of the tower to prevent the people from being scattered. They were directly disobeying God. It's possible that the reason their disobedience took the form of a tower was as a shelter in case God tried to flood them again.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou haven't actually read the bible properly, have you?
yes I have
Gen 9:1 And God blessed Noe and his sons. And he said to them: Increase, and multiply, and fill the earth.
Gen 9:7 But increase you and multiply, and go upon the earth and fill it.
then
Gen 11:4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
yep exactly what I said.
Leewalser,
You read the Bible but I think the point was more the arrogance of the people led to the punishment. Disobeying GOD and then building a tower to reach heaven on top of it. What were they going to do when they got there? Make the angels their bitches? GOD saved them from some serious archangel smackdowns.
none of the first page was proven to be true. i would like to say they all haven't, but i don't have the enthusiasm to look at the rest of the declared "proven" myths.
ReplyHow does entry number #3 qualify for an "ancient belief that turned out to be true" !? There was no tower, no divine intervention and no separation of humans because of languge barriers. Absolutely no important part of the myth is part of the "true" version - that is only a theory of a single guy and evidenced by nothing.
ReplyThe Noah's Arc thingy was a stretch, too, because the "true" version lacks both the 2-of-all-kinds-bit and the arc itself but at least there was a disaster that killed most of the population.
a huge stretch. language evolved so it must be like the tower of babel? tens of thousands of years to do what the folk story of babel alleges. dumb. of course language evolves. you'll get variations from town to town.. this whole article is right up there with creationism. the leap to science from stories is sad and preachy. save it for church.
Actually, they've found evidence that the tower actually DID exist.
Loved this article. :) I noticed this suspicious phenomenon several years ago when I was first learning about religion and myths. Just because it sounds nuts doesn't mean there isn't some truth to it.
ReplyI haven't read all 1585 comments, so I'm sure I'm not the first to point out that the big bang theory doesn't say the universe came from nothing.
ReplyI enjoyed the good-natured humour of this piece, but seriously. Facts are facts, even when they conflict with religion.
No, Facts are theories, because the big bang THEORY, has the word THEORY in the title, because there will be no way to ever prove beyond a reason of a doubt that it happened just like that. So facts aren't quite so facty when they're actually theories now, are they?
The very idea of Captain Caveman laying pipe in Raquel Welch is just too funny for words!!
ReplyUgh. The chick up there in the leather, with the red hair, what's she from, anyone know?
ReplyThat's Raquel Welch. She's an actress and international sex symbol from the 60's.
screw genders, you need both, or you get no babies, and don't bring up that thing about the all female lizards that are still around, they took a while to become all female, you can't just kill off all the men and then have all the women mutate into asexual creatures, that takes a while, and it could only happen to their grandchildren, who will never exist do to the extinction of men.
ReplyProto-Human is "controversial"? No half! Definitely something that some people think might be true, not somethingt hat turned out to be true.
ReplyGood lord that was awful!
ReplyYou took a big chunk of liberty in interpreting things.
ReplyI know what to tell my (future) children when they ask me where does the universe come from. "In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded"
ReplyHey, I'm not mocking the theory, in fact, I like it.
Rather than erecting a monument to a guy's balls, we should be building a monument to mitochondrial Eve's uterus. She came along long before the guy. This is why I became a scientist, because even back in grade school I realized that Mother Nature is in fact inherently female. (I feel like I should point out that I am not being ironical.) All the evidence really point to this.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesAnd yet, in the bible, Adam came first. ...but what else is new? >_< lol
"eve" may have been first, but who cares if she passed her genes down to every woman 200,000 years ago if every male had died out (which, according to this would have happened without adam). that would have been great and all for that 140,000 years, but if males had died out 60,000 years ago, so would to have females.
and i'm NOT saying that men are better/worth more than women or anything like that. i'm just saying that you're argument is flawed. "mother nature" still needed "father nature" to get her pregnant. do you think she just magically became pregnant?
and on the other hand, yes i realize that my argument would be pointless had it not been for "eve" because mankind wouldn't have existed without her either. all i'm saying is that the two are equally important, as without either of them, we may not be here today
Wow. You're a scientist who believes "ironical" is a word. Are you a professor of exaggerology?
^ Ironic: using or characterized by irony. Derivative: ironical.
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