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Crazy Eight: The Top Crazy Girlfriends in Movie History
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Let's face it: Crazy girlfriends in the movies are cool, but add that sexual essence-that special thing the French call magnétisme animal-to them and you've got yourself one incredibly sexy, crazy chick. This rare breed of woman in the cinema is always ready and willing to have animal-style sex. They're wild about their recreational drugs and alcohol, they love the ladies and they have that thread of desperation that makes up the sexual fringe of their batshit-crazy tapestry. After days of heated roundtable discussions and lonely nights rewinding the nude scenes in our DVD library, here are CRACKED.com's top eight craziest (and sexiest) girlfriends in movie history. #8.
Chloe Webb as Nancy Spungen in Sid & Nancy
In a Nutshell: Call her the Yoko Ono of the British punk scene if you'd like, but Chloe Webb's portrayal of Nancy Spungen, the longtime girlfriend of Sex Pistols' Sid Vicious, brought a sexy combination of nihilism and crazy-chick shenanigans to the forefront of movie history. Admittedly, she wasn't going to win any beauty contests. But up until that point, the closest movie character with halfway-decent looks and that classic "I-don't-give-a-shit" attitude was Pippi Longstocking. So, we're giving props where they're due. Defining Crazy Moment: The scene where she's sitting in bed with Sid after a cozy little heroin fix, both not reacting as their room in the Chelsea Hotel goes up in flames. Crazy Quote: "I fucking hate them! I fucking hate them! Ass! Ow! Fucking motherfuckers! They wouldn't send us any money! They said we'd spend it on druuuuugs!"—after getting off the phone with her parents. Sid nonchalantly responds with a sheepish, "We would." Video Bonus: Sid and Nancy go up in smoke. #7.
Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction
In a Nutshell: While Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) would probably tell you that she wasn't technically his girlfriend, Close's character still slept with him more than once, and they went out on the minimum of two dates in a single week-sorry Dan, but that's a relationship as far as we're concerned. With that established, Alex Forrest is probably one of the craziest movie girlfriends of all time, and she could surely teach a few tricks to young Hollywood. But, crazy will only get you so far on this list. Unfortunately, Close looks like a cross between George Washington and Barbara Bush-by default, that combo tops you out at No. 7. But, she's obviously a pleaser and that counts for something. Who can forget the blowjob in the freight elevator? The sex on the sink while she breaks all those dishes? Couple that with acid on the Volvo, unknowingly/knowingly slicing herself with a butcher knife and her penchant for kidnapping-congratulations Mr. Gallagher, you've got yourself one crazy, sexy girlfriend. Defining Crazy Moment: Glenn Close cooks up some rabbit stew using the only hare close to hand: an adorable pet bunny. Crazy Quote: "Why? Because I won't allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?"â€"after Douglas' character tells her that he's over her. Video Bonus: Crazy girlfriends make the best cooks. |
66 Comments
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So I started to date this girl, and my "friends" warned me she was "a little crazy". My reaction was, yes, I get it, art school girl = little bit crazy. What they meant to say was " Run for your fucking life, she's bi-polar with a history of violent episodes, including 1 where she hospitalized a cop! And it took 3 other cops to subdue her! You have no chance against her, not unless you're actually Van Damm or Segal... are you? No. Then run!" But they didn't, instead it was " a little crazy" .
Why do all guys say they want some crazy girlfriend get one and then can't handle her? so what if i've stabbed a guy for cheating on me. if guys really liked crazy chicks and thought they were sexy theyd make they could handle them and quit being such a winey bitch when she beats your ass.
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Michael, it's because drug addiction in the crazy girlfriend can be described as such. Remember that annoying standardized test question reading, "All Gots are Mots, and some Mots are Tots. The statement: All Tots are Gots is:" and you accidentally circled true because you had just come back from lunch and wound up being the only kid not to get tater tots? That's why. Some kid accidentally circled true on the question "All crazy girlfriends use drugs, and some people using drugs are addicted to them. The statement all crazy girlfriends are addicted to drugs is:" because his crazy girlfriend is addicted to shopping at CVS.
Thanks for reminding me of the movie Audition, Dogturd.
Relax, it was a joke for Christ's sake.
Personally i think NO.5 was the hottest (though i have not seen any of the others)
Why must drug addiction be so important in the crazy girlfriend stereotype?
complainers of 6# : wipe the tears. shit
Don'tMissThis...
Send your crazy un-significant 'Go to fucking hell!' card (for FREE) from: www.NeilsNotes.com
Ragweed
C'mon Cracked guys, are you really that ignorant? The number six entry stopped being borderline offensive funny (which you guys do so well) and took a flying leap into sheer ill-informed idiocy.
Seriously, I come here because you guys are normally better informed, you let me down.
Yourmomymous
Yeah, but Hillary Swank actually IS trailer trash.
JohnnyTwotone
Jesus...all you people bitching about #6...get a life. It's comedy, for fuck's sake...lighten up.
Wait...wasn't that Wynona Rider? I'm confused...
Getoverit!
Seriously people.. Yes, the story of Teena Brandon or "Brandon Teena" is a sad one.. But honestly quit jumping down his throat for putting Lana on the list!! He's not saying anything about the REAL story.. He's simply just stating the fact that Chole Sevigny's character in the movie was an absolute batshit crazy one.. Or atleast thats how she portrayed it because she herself IS batshit crazy.. Since when did everybody get all sensitive about trannies anyhow?Honestly! I've read TONS more offensive shit on here than that.. Christ!
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WS7270
Honorable mention to Marla from Fight Club. Maybe thats just fucked up though.