Crazy Eight: The Top Crazy Girlfriends in Movie History
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Let's face it: Crazy girlfriends in the movies are cool, but add that sexual essence-that special thing the French call magnétisme animal-to them and you've got yourself one incredibly sexy, crazy chick. This rare breed of woman in the cinema is always ready and willing to have animal-style sex. They're wild about their recreational drugs and alcohol, they love the ladies and they have that thread of desperation that makes up the sexual fringe of their batshit-crazy tapestry. After days of heated roundtable discussions and lonely nights rewinding the nude scenes in our DVD library, here are CRACKED.com's top eight craziest (and sexiest) girlfriends in movie history. #8.
Chloe Webb as Nancy Spungen in Sid & Nancy
In a Nutshell: Call her the Yoko Ono of the British punk scene if you'd like, but Chloe Webb's portrayal of Nancy Spungen, the longtime girlfriend of Sex Pistols' Sid Vicious, brought a sexy combination of nihilism and crazy-chick shenanigans to the forefront of movie history. Admittedly, she wasn't going to win any beauty contests. But up until that point, the closest movie character with halfway-decent looks and that classic "I-don't-give-a-shit" attitude was Pippi Longstocking. So, we're giving props where they're due. Defining Crazy Moment: The scene where she's sitting in bed with Sid after a cozy little heroin fix, both not reacting as their room in the Chelsea Hotel goes up in flames. Crazy Quote: "I fucking hate them! I fucking hate them! Ass! Ow! Fucking motherfuckers! They wouldn't send us any money! They said we'd spend it on druuuuugs!"—after getting off the phone with her parents. Sid nonchalantly responds with a sheepish, "We would." Video Bonus: Sid and Nancy go up in smoke. #7.
Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction
In a Nutshell: While Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) would probably tell you that she wasn't technically his girlfriend, Close's character still slept with him more than once, and they went out on the minimum of two dates in a single week-sorry Dan, but that's a relationship as far as we're concerned. With that established, Alex Forrest is probably one of the craziest movie girlfriends of all time, and she could surely teach a few tricks to young Hollywood. But, crazy will only get you so far on this list. Unfortunately, Close looks like a cross between George Washington and Barbara Bush-by default, that combo tops you out at No. 7. But, she's obviously a pleaser and that counts for something. Who can forget the blowjob in the freight elevator? The sex on the sink while she breaks all those dishes? Couple that with acid on the Volvo, unknowingly/knowingly slicing herself with a butcher knife and her penchant for kidnapping-congratulations Mr. Gallagher, you've got yourself one crazy, sexy girlfriend. Defining Crazy Moment: Glenn Close cooks up some rabbit stew using the only hare close to hand: an adorable pet bunny. Crazy Quote: "Why? Because I won't allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?"â€"after Douglas' character tells her that he's over her. Video Bonus: Crazy girlfriends make the best cooks. |
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wow... zeitgeust has some emotional issues...
Juliette Lewis's character in NBK is probably secretly every woman's hero. She doesn't do anything sick or twisted to kids or animals.... she only kills random adult...eh I could live with that. The fun and ultra-scary adventure that would go along with this life. The "using sex as revenge" tactic is something most women use everyday and I'm not referring to the "withold the p***y" type. I will not elaborate these chick secrets, however I think men would be frightened to realize how may women prob would secretly be all over this lifestyle if given the opportunity! I'd had to call her a top three of "cold evil women".
well, there's a difference between like, physically unable to do something - smaller guys have the same problem - and, like, not trying because you're a girl and girls shouldn't have to lift things.
i don't really know what my point is. i have very confused thoughts about feminism.
this whole article sure makes me appreciate my crazy sexy ex-girlfriend a whole lot more.
Sorry baronzemo, I totaly typo'd your name.
Actually, I have to agree with barronzemo. Women have this amazing tendancy to scream out for equal rights. Oh, give me equal rights! Let me do the same job as you! With my tiny frame, I'm sure I can lift that gigantic box. Well, no I can't... but I still want you to pay me the same!
I'm a girl, and even I know this.
However, that's no reason for whatsisname to go off and be a little b*tch about things. So everyone, get over yourselves.
Kaythanksbye. <3
thought he went a little overboard on his rant. zeitgeust may have a point. equal rights blah blah but the woman automatically gets everything in a divorce whether she's crazy as f**k or not.
Hey zeitgeust, how about I make you my b***h?
Then you can be the one who gets to "cry rape". Since we all know that's what your little s**t fit is really about.
<3
zeitgeust: good job taking an innocuous comment and using it to fuel your sexist a*****e rant. it's awesome to hate women, isn't it? totally.
douchebag.
Shut up CLASSYBROAD(yeah right) this comming from a woman who would probably cry rape and attempted murder from a slap,if thats you in the pic then you have issues yourself.women want equal rights!! you have them so if a c**t like you ever hit me then id make damn sure id knock some teeth out and break your jaw so you cant talk and nag nag nag like all women do, shut the f**k up with that fake"im hard" attitude,ohhhhh lokk at me i have jet black hair and tattoos i must be crazy dont f**k with me im a goth and i know black magic,,,,pff stupid s**t.
Honorable mention to Marla from Fight Club. Maybe thats just fucked up though.
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So I started to date this girl, and my "friends" warned me she was "a little crazy". My reaction was, yes, I get it, art school girl = little bit crazy. What they meant to say was " Run for your f*****g life, she's bi-polar with a history of violent episodes, including 1 where she hospitalized a cop! And it took 3 other cops to subdue her! You have no chance against her, not unless you're actually Van Damm or Segal... are you? No. Then run!" But they didn't, instead it was " a little crazy" .
Why do all guys say they want some crazy girlfriend get one and then can't handle her? so what if i've stabbed a guy for cheating on me. if guys really liked crazy chicks and thought they were sexy theyd make they could handle them and quit being such a winey b***h when she beats your ass.
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Michael, it's because drug addiction in the crazy girlfriend can be described as such. Remember that annoying standardized test question reading, "All Gots are Mots, and some Mots are Tots. The statement: All Tots are Gots is:" and you accidentally circled true because you had just come back from lunch and wound up being the only kid not to get tater tots? That's why. Some kid accidentally circled true on the question "All crazy girlfriends use drugs, and some people using drugs are addicted to them. The statement all crazy girlfriends are addicted to drugs is:" because his crazy girlfriend is addicted to shopping at CVS.
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She's not a girlfriend (unless she's like her brother--then you could count some of the dead bodies in the house), but Baby (House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects) could outcrazy and outmurder any of these bitches, any time.