A good rap name is like good rap: it sounds effortless without coming off sloppy, and it never tries too hard. Whether its vibe is biblical (Hova), comic book villain (Biggie Smalls) or comic book hero (Method Man); whether the name is self-imposed (Big Baby Jesus) or God-given (Kanye West and Tupac Shakur didn't really have a choice, now did they?) you know when you've heard a good rap name. And just as certainly, you know when you've heard a bad one. We count down the 25 worst.
25
Lil' Scrappy
Unless you're a puppy who can somehow rap, this name does not work. Even if you're literally both little and scrappy, there are better ways to express it. Lil' Scrappy is really just a step away from Mr. Woofles.
24
69 Boyz
The geniuses behind the song "Tootsee Roll" supposedly named themselves after the fact that they were all born in 1969, but the sexual connotations aren't lost on anyone. Now, it's strange enough for a group of guys to define themselves by their mutual love of the 69 position. But throw in the hilarious possibility of a concert opening with the boast, "Yo, we 69 Boys, ya'll," and you've got yourself a pretty questionable name. (Also, if you have the time and the stomach for a trip down memory lane, check out the above video, in which the already questionably named 69 Boyz perform stripper dance moves on a stage full of men in matching outfits. It's fantastic.)
23
Chamillionaire
Is he a millionaire who blends in with the rest of us? Or is he a millionaire that blends in with other millionaires because being rich is just so natural to him? Or perhaps he has a million chameleons? Or maybe he is a million chameleons who have joined together, combining their camouflage skills to appear as a rapper in order to take advantage of today's enormous market for bad hip-hop. Or perhaps he's only a tea millionaire with an enormous collection of fragrant, healing Chamomile teas. Either way, he's an idiot.
22
Bubba Sparxxx
First, he named himself after what we can only assume was his frat nickname at whatever Southern junior college he attended. Then, he threw in the triple X to give it just the right porn-site-where-you-can-go-to-watch-fat-people-have-sex vibe.
21
Birdman
The above image of the badass cartoon character he named himself after really says it all.
My ultimate list of worst rap names so far.
Whole Wheat Bread
David Banner
Tity Boi
Chingy
Waka Flocka Flame
Earl Sweatshirt
Birdman
Dangermouse
The Boy Boy Young Mess (Formerly Messy Marv)
Pooh Bear
DJ Noodles
Lil Wyte
Marky Mark
OJ Da Juiceman
Keak da Sneak
Ball Greezy
Crunchy Black
Sticky Fingaz
Magoo
Shorty Shitstain
I’m a sweet, caring girl , I met my boy-friend, an uniformed-guy working in Air Force, on--- s e e k i n g u n i f o r m.c0m --. It's a 10-year-old club for uniformed personnel finding their intimate lovers. Try to find your uniformed one there!
I would add Whitey Don to #20. Dreddy Kruger also reminded me of Mykill Miers. One of the worst rapper names I've ever heard is Don Bigileone. He's Finnish and he's also propably the worst rapper ever.
No. No, I'm sorry but if you're a bunch of white dudes that have, for whatever reason, decided to start rapping, the name "Young Black Teenagers" is the best possible option.
Who wrote this shit? 4/10 correct will get you an F in class, son. And I'm pretty sure Noreaga did that s intentionally. idk where you get your cojones doing this article but as someone who listens to some rap, even I can tell you these aren't the worst. I really wanna express my rage of how STUPID you are, how ridiculous this b***h white boy article is, how if i had the chance to meet you how i would throw you down, grip your throat and move it back and forth in a vertical motion till blood stops coming out of your ears and skull from all the suffocation and blunt-force pounding, how I would torture you by bleaching all your clothes and scrape your car of all of it's paint, and show you how really lame you really are with all your first world problems. but alas, i wont, cause I agree with 4 out of 10. (You lil' shit)
Birdman got that name before he made it as a rapper, i thought people knew but seeing as how a couple of guys below were flamed for it ill explain ..a Bird is a Kilo of cocaine..birdman claims to have been "moving birds" long before becoming a rapper (as most rappers do claim) is it true? i doubt it, but thats what it means
C'mon now,everybody knows rap=Retards Attempting Poetry. What do you expect from a bunch of welfare baby/high school dropout/bored rich kids trying to be "down wit da 'hood" morons? Creativity? Higher brain functions? the ability to walk AND chew gum at the same time? Sorry, not with this group.
Attempting to take any intelligence from a conversation with someone named "gorillafart" can be an arduous task, but I must point out that not all rappers fill the requirements you set up here. I find it especially amusing that they can be "welfare babies" and "rich kids" at the same time! Your lack of intelligence and basic understanding of syntax along with your misguided bigotry has amused me. Thank you sir, I needed the laugh!
This is GARBAGE. You need to educate yourself and open up your blinded closed eyes. WAKE UP!!! You need some KRS One, RZA, GZA, hell I could list and list and list GREAT MINDS from Hip Hop that would shatter your racist fake judgemental ass. I'm a small town white boy from Massachusetts and I promise you I could rhyme you more than you ever learned in school, from your mommy and daddy.. you don't know s**t bitch. This is SAD, PATHETIC, straight f****n lame. Wake the f**k up.
He might not actually rap on the Gnarls Barkley album but Cee-Lo is still primarily a rapper. Either way, Gnarls Barkley is up there with Sugarland as one of the worst band names ever so I think it's worth a mention..
Say what you will, Cracked, but a rapper who names himself after Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law deserves some pretty mad respect.
ReplyI saw one southern rapper's promo poster, his name was "Ice Tray"
ReplyOh cracked, you sure know how to give me the giggles!
Replyyeah, but at least chali 2na makes up for it by being exceptionally awesome (mostly because he used to rap for Ozomatli).
ReplyNo "Dirt McGirt?"
ReplyMy ultimate list of worst rap names so far.
ReplyWhole Wheat Bread
David Banner
Tity Boi
Chingy
Waka Flocka Flame
Earl Sweatshirt
Birdman
Dangermouse
The Boy Boy Young Mess (Formerly Messy Marv)
Pooh Bear
DJ Noodles
Lil Wyte
Marky Mark
OJ Da Juiceman
Keak da Sneak
Ball Greezy
Crunchy Black
Sticky Fingaz
Magoo
Shorty Shitstain
I stopped listening after you said Earl Sweatshirt was a s****y rap name.
Limp Bizkit should definately be on the list
ReplyI’m a sweet, caring girl , I met my boy-friend, an uniformed-guy working in Air Force, on--- s e e k i n g u n i f o r m.c0m --. It's a 10-year-old club for uniformed personnel finding their intimate lovers. Try to find your uniformed one there!
Replybirdman is badass. harvey birdman? unstoppable
ReplyI would add Whitey Don to #20. Dreddy Kruger also reminded me of Mykill Miers. One of the worst rapper names I've ever heard is Don Bigileone. He's Finnish and he's also propably the worst rapper ever.
ReplyU r a hater bro...stop it!!!!
ReplyDel is a great rapper! Without him, Gorillaz wouldn't have the singles 'Clint Eastwood' or 'Rock the House'!
ReplyNo. No, I'm sorry but if you're a bunch of white dudes that have, for whatever reason, decided to start rapping, the name "Young Black Teenagers" is the best possible option.
ReplyThat's not saying much, I know.
I like Gnarls Barkley...
ReplyWho wrote this shit? 4/10 correct will get you an F in class, son. And I'm pretty sure Noreaga did that s intentionally. idk where you get your cojones doing this article but as someone who listens to some rap, even I can tell you these aren't the worst. I really wanna express my rage of how STUPID you are, how ridiculous this b***h white boy article is, how if i had the chance to meet you how i would throw you down, grip your throat and move it back and forth in a vertical motion till blood stops coming out of your ears and skull from all the suffocation and blunt-force pounding, how I would torture you by bleaching all your clothes and scrape your car of all of it's paint, and show you how really lame you really are with all your first world problems. but alas, i wont, cause I agree with 4 out of 10. (You lil' shit)
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replieswhat the hell is wrong with you?!?!?! have some sex, smoke a blunt and take a nap. damn!
Are you kidding? Some of those names are the worst ever. Who the f**k thought Paperboy was a good rap name?
I couldn't take you seriously when I read this, the even funnier part is how your userpic is some pasty white guy
You're either trolling or from SoCal (His name is Cozzix, come on now)
E=Dope MC's, nerd rap.
ReplyPretty much every nerdcore rap name is terrible. Someone actually thought it'd be witty to rap as YT Cracker. Just...really?
Birdman got that name before he made it as a rapper, i thought people knew but seeing as how a couple of guys below were flamed for it ill explain ..a Bird is a Kilo of cocaine..birdman claims to have been "moving birds" long before becoming a rapper (as most rappers do claim) is it true? i doubt it, but thats what it means
ReplyStill sounds stupid.
C'mon now,everybody knows rap=Retards Attempting Poetry. What do you expect from a bunch of welfare baby/high school dropout/bored rich kids trying to be "down wit da 'hood" morons? Creativity? Higher brain functions? the ability to walk AND chew gum at the same time? Sorry, not with this group.
ReplyAttempting to take any intelligence from a conversation with someone named "gorillafart" can be an arduous task, but I must point out that not all rappers fill the requirements you set up here. I find it especially amusing that they can be "welfare babies" and "rich kids" at the same time! Your lack of intelligence and basic understanding of syntax along with your misguided bigotry has amused me. Thank you sir, I needed the laugh!
This is GARBAGE. You need to educate yourself and open up your blinded closed eyes. WAKE UP!!! You need some KRS One, RZA, GZA, hell I could list and list and list GREAT MINDS from Hip Hop that would shatter your racist fake judgemental ass. I'm a small town white boy from Massachusetts and I promise you I could rhyme you more than you ever learned in school, from your mommy and daddy.. you don't know s**t bitch. This is SAD, PATHETIC, straight f****n lame. Wake the f**k up.
Dreddy Kruger actually isn't such a bad name. To be fair I don't think I'd call Gnarls Barkley rap.
ReplyHe might not actually rap on the Gnarls Barkley album but Cee-Lo is still primarily a rapper. Either way, Gnarls Barkley is up there with Sugarland as one of the worst band names ever so I think it's worth a mention..
They still have rappers?
Reply