Rhyme Crime: The 20 Worst Rhymes In Pop Music History
20
Ashley Simpson, "La La"
You make me wanna la la,
In the kitchen on the floor,
I'll be a french maid,
Where I'll meet you at the door.
While we're sure it's easier to lip synch simple words, we're a little confused about what la la actually means. Swiffer maybe?
19
Jadakiss and Kanye West, "Gettin' It In"
Don't try to treat me like I ain t famous,
My apologies, are you into astrology?
Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus.
Have you ever looked at a horoscope, Kanye? Do you see Uranus there? This song reminds us of another star sign -- Feces.
18
Styx, "Mr. Roboto"
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
The motherlode of the inane rhyme. Styx -- what a couple of...er& what rhymes with Styx?
17
The Police, "Walking on the Moon"
Giant steps are what you take,
Walking on the moon,
I hope my legs don't break,
Walking on the moon.
Sting phones it in again. Are limb injuries a big concern for astronauts? Really? Wouldn't an injury be less likely in the diminished gravity? It s one giant leap for man, it s one, ouch, my ankle!
16
Foreigner, "Hot Blooded"
That's why I'm hot blooded, check it and see,
I got a fever of a hundred and three.
We've certainly noticed that nothing attracts women at a club more than sweaty, feverish foreigners with mullets.
How about "I am, I said, to no one there, and no one heard me, not even the chair." -Neil Diamond(?) How in the f**k would you expect a chair to hear you?
ReplyI'm surprised Lady BlahBlah isn't on this list.
Reply'Eleanor,
ReplyGee, I think you're swell
And you really do me well
You're my pride and joy, et cetera
Eleanor, can I take the time
To ask you to speak your mind
Tell me that you love me better'
I like The Turtles. But, shit. Anyone that rhymes 'et cetera' with 'better' (and that line only makes sense if you squint and use your imagination) must be (or have been) really f*****g desperate.
What about that time lil wayne rhymed dick with dick like seven times?
Reply"I call her Rihanna/ but that's cuz that's her name Rihanna"
Reply-Rick Ross ft. Drake
I love you Drake, but this here's retarded. This should easily be in the top 5.
This is probably the most cynical dick-headed article I've read in a while. Bravo.
ReplyFred Durst not on this list?
Reply"Now I know ya'll be lovin' this s**t right here
L-I-M-P biscuit is right here!"
To be fair, Pete Sinfield penned all those lines for King Crimson. The only lyrics Robert Fripp has written were about the commercialization of the Vatican.
Reply"Would Josie like a glass of Snapple, perhapple?"
ReplyHA!
Where's Des'ree on this list?
Reply"I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast"
Toast?! FFS.
I think there's an important oversight here.
ReplySpin Doctors - Little Miss Can't Be Wrong
"I take that back I hope you're doing fine
and if I had a dollar I might give you ninety-nine"
The Smiths have been my favorite band for years, their self-title album is my favorite album, and Reel Around the Fountain is one of my favorite songs off of it. I'd love to say something in Morrissey's defense, but yes, that's not one of the best rhymes the man ever thought up.
Reply"Walking on the Moon" is about being drunk. Sometime in lyrics you have to read between the lines, they're not always meant to be taken literally.
ReplyYou completely forgot Lenny Kravitz's "Fly Away!"
Reply"I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly"
Worst in history.
The Smiths? It's about how hunting's evil.
ReplyI am surprised to not see "Abracadabra" on here.
Abra, abracadabra
I'm gonna reach out and grab ya
Abra, abracadabra
Abracadabra
lolwut
I heard this song at my friend's house once... Almost busted out laughing at the lack of thought put in to the lyrics.
This article is quite silly really. The whole concept of English speaking people complaining about nonsensical rhymes is pretty stupid.
ReplyRam Jam's Black Betty was written by Leadbelly and is derived from an 18th century marching cadence about a flint-lock musket with a black painted stock. The "bam-ba-lam" lyric refersto the sound of the gunfire. Soldiers in the field were said to be "hugging Black Betty". Black Betty was superseded by its "child", a musket with an unpainted walnut stock known as a "Brown Bess". This black powder weapons often had a dangerous back-flash hence the "gone blind" reference.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHistory! Cool, huh?
haha damn dude, u really suck.
Holy s**t - did you WRITE the damn lyrics to this song? I never thought anybody would know so much about an obscure 1 hit wonder by "Ram Jet"... f*****g RAM JET?
It's Ram Jam, not Ram Jet.
Let's not forget the crime that is REO Speedwagon. I can't believe it. Not for a minute. That's not even close. it makes me cringe every time.
ReplyLet's not forget the classic song "24 Inches on the Brougham" by the Dirty Boys, or Dirty. "You wanna know what's truly real? How many times my candy flips. The sun makes my paint look like a fruity bag of M&Ms". Yum my favorite candy, Skittle flavored M&Ms!
ReplyThat entire song, entry and artist title sounds flat-out gay.
Robert Fripp (the guitarist) did not write the lyrics to "Ladies on the Road". Their lyricist, Peter Sinfield, did.
Reply