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Rhyme Crime: The 20 Worst Rhymes In Pop Music History

By Kevin Hill January 17, 2007 233,908 views
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When Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder managed to rhyme “public” and “subject” in “Tears of a Clown,” it was sheer genius. Getting that perfect coupling of words and phrases is what makes for a brilliant song. Then there are musicians who just write down words because they rhyme, or because they think they rhyme, and hope that we won’t notice that the lyrics don't make any sense. Sometimes the songs are so good that we don’t notice. Then there are these examples. 

20
Ashley Simpson, "La La"

“You make me wanna la la,
In the kitchen on the floor,
I'll be a french maid,
Where I'll meet you at the door.”


While we're sure it's easier to lip synch simple words, we're a little confused about what ‘la la’ actually means. Swiffer maybe? 


19
Jadakiss and Kanye West, "Gettin' It In"

“Don't try to treat me like I ain’t famous,
My apologies, are you into astrology?
Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus.”


Have you ever looked at a horoscope, Kanye? Do you see Uranus there? This song reminds us of another star sign -- Feces.


18
Styx, "Mr. Roboto"

“Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.”


The motherlode of the inane rhyme. Styx -- what a couple of...er…what rhymes with Styx?


17
The Police, "Walking on the Moon"

“Giant steps are what you take,
Walking on the moon,
I hope my legs don't break,
Walking on the moon.”


Sting phones it in again. Are limb injuries a big concern for astronauts? Really? Wouldn't an injury be less likely in the diminished gravity? “It’s one giant leap for man, it’s one, ouch, my ankle!”


16
Foreigner, "Hot Blooded"

“That's why I'm hot blooded, check it and see,
I got a fever of a hundred and three.”

We've certainly noticed that nothing attracts women at a club more than sweaty, feverish foreigners with mullets.

"This looks like a job for ME, so everybody just follow ME. We need a little controversy, because it feels so empty without ME!" ...Yeah, thanks Eminem for rhyming the same word 3 times in a 4 line verse.

10/13/2009 9:49:04 AM
DrVenkman

How about pretty much anything ever written by Anthony Kedis of Red Hot Chilli Peppers. The man's songs sound like a Dr. Suess book.

1/10/2009 3:32:18 AM
Koukla12905

Should've included "Take the Money and Run".

In which the Steve Miller Band thinks that justice, taxes, and "facts is" all rhyme with Texas.

Number one on the list was definately a good choice, though. I salute thee!

10/7/2008 10:18:13 AM
BilBluesBaggins

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto = Thank you very much Mr. Roboto in Japanese. It was supposed to be a commentary on how we were being taken over by the Japanese. The worst part? Back in the 80's I knew what Mata ahme ma da meant (and all the rest)

10/5/2008 11:19:57 AM
nightmare1970

Seven virgins and a mule,
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.

what the f**k does that even mean???

10/4/2008 7:37:28 AM
bbarne4

That solo from "Black Betty" is pretty awesome.

10/2/2008 10:18:12 AM
randman21

uhhh yeah....sticks rhymes with styx.....good call there....

9/28/2008 12:59:54 AM
rachelgail16

'Dicks'. 'Dicks' rhymes with 'Styx'. Also 'chicks', 'flicks', 'picks', 'sticks', and 'mix'.

9/19/2008 4:59:58 PM
Tartra

I would have included that line from 'American Pie' that goes,

'Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step.'

Ugh.

9/11/2008 5:13:39 AM
uzielis

Ha, I haven't a problem with 'Walking On The Moon', as long as you don't jump off a moon cliff or something, lol. Stewart Copeland says Regatta De Blanc is 'the best Police record.' I agree.

'So, they say I'm wishing my days away...no way...'

9/11/2008 5:10:32 AM
uzielis

Re #19: planets often feature in astrology (e.g. charts for time of birth)

9/10/2008 8:21:26 AM
eamonn33

Have we forgotten the poet Shooter McGavin "Just stay outta my way, or you'll pay, listen to what I say."

9/9/2008 1:29:05 AM
Jarhead

I know it's late, but Neil DIAMOND wrote the one about the chair not hearing him, not Neil Young. ("I Am I Said.")

8/16/2008 9:24:55 AM
feralboy12

Much as I love it, I'd have to pitch in "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. ("...the door was open and the wind appeared, the candles blew and then disappeared, the curtains flew and then he appeared...")

8/2/2008 4:02:15 PM
MaggieMarvel

Since "Walking on the Moon" is about being high, yeah, it's kinda a given that the lyrics don't make sense...or rhyme.

7/25/2008 7:59:09 PM
Jehy

This article is a perfect example of why you need to stop this guest writing s**t. The guy barely wrote anything, and what he did write was half-assed and unfunny.

Oh, and I'm a big sexy beauty in case you were wondering.

7/19/2008 8:31:52 PM
Yarp

Really? This gem from Jessie's Girl didn't make the list...

I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot.

God, I laugh uncontrollably everytime I hear that part of the song.

7/4/2008 10:44:45 PM
mymomsaysimcool

Happy Canada day

7/1/2008 11:57:50 AM
silvadream

I am a sexy big beauty and cannot live without music and dance. Anyone there want to chat on this? Let's meet @___PlusMeet.c o m_____! Many big beautiful women and their admirers mingle there and seek fun&love together!

6/18/2008 9:10:28 AM
sexybigmesexy

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5/26/2008 12:12:20 AM
intimate
Cracked stuff on