With Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix due soon in theaters and the book release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows imminent, children, pre-teens and functionally retarded adults across America can sigh with relief: Their favorite boy wizard is back. But are kids, young adults and the mentally stupid Potter's target audience anymore? Both the films and their source material, J.K. Rowling's book series, have increasingly started to incorporate dark, violent subject matter. In the place of fantastical creatures, childhood wish fulfillment fantasy and schools of fatherly wizards, we now have hideously deformed and fanged dark lords, soul-stealing wraiths and parents murdered on-screen.
Was it always like this, and we just didn't notice? Below, six reasons why the popular children's series has always had its dark side.
6Moaning Myrtle: Creepy and Depressing
Moaning Myrtle, a ghost who haunts the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, is clearly meant to be adorable: She talks in cutesy baby-talk, wears big nerdy glasses and seems to harbor a quiet crush on our hero, Harry Potter. Aww.
She's so adorable, in fact, that it's easy to forget that we're talking about the tormented specter of a child who's doomed to exclusively haunt middle school bathrooms. Assuming she's into it, you've got a pubescent dead voyeur watching school-age boys use the toilet. Assuming she's not, you've got a murdered child who's forced to hang out in a smelly-ass bathroom for all eternity.
Either way, holy Hell, is that some dark shit. Children who read this book will probably have difficulty using public restrooms for the rest of their lives, forever looking over their shoulders while dropping deuces, fearful that they're being scrutinized by an underage poltergeist with a weird bathroom fetish. Thanks a lot, Rowling. We'll be sending you our psychiatrist bills.