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Celebrities fight just like they have sex: randomly and with whichever fellow celebrity is closest at hand. At least it seems that way, based on the long history of odd and seemingly pointless brawls between famous people. #10.
Axl Rose vs. Tommy Hilfiger
The Backstory:
He demanded that Kurt Cobain "shut [his] bitch up" at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards, but was stymied when Cobain told Courtney Love "Shut up, bitch!" and the two laughed and walked off. He repeatedly challenged Motley Crue's Vince Neil after he beat up Izzy Stradlin for kicking Neil' wife in the stomach, but backed down when Neil proposed they settle things in a boxing match. Rose has even been known to engage in empty threats that don't involve his endorsing violence toward women, as when he singled out music critics by name and challenged them to fight in Use Your Illusion II' "Get in the Ring." Spin publisher Bob Guccione Jr., a nine-year karate student, gladly accepted, but nothing came of it, presumably because Axl became distracted by some celebrity' wife that needed a beating. So how did he finally end up fighting 55-year-old fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger, of all people?
The Beatdown:
Hilfiger, who Rose described as "foaming at the mouth," was eventually pulled out of the club kicking and screaming by his own bodyguard. Rose then played a scheduled set, dedicating the song "You're Crazy" to "my good friend Tommy Hilfiger."
The Winner:
Hilfiger, on the other hand, not only defended his girlfriend-and it seems improbable enough for a male fashion designer to even have one-but also beat up the biggest rock star of the 1980s in the process. If there's anything less rock 'n' roll than getting your ass kicked by a fashion designer, we certainly can't imagine what it is. With all due respect to Buddy Holly's plane crash, Axl Rose having his ass handed to him by Tommy Hilfiger is most certainly the day that music died for anyone raised on Appetite for Destruction.
#9.
Sinéad O'Connor vs. Prince
The Backstory:
O'Connor may be a girl, but she's Irish, she's crazy, and going to the tale of the tape, she actually has 2 or 3 inches on the diminutive Prince. In 1990, O'Connor scored a hit with an unauthorized cover of Prince' "Nothing Compares 2 You." This upset the Purple One, who'd planned on giving it to one of his female proteges. Their meeting to discuss this did not go well.
The Beatdown:
The Winner:
#8.
Bill Murray vs. Chevy Chase
The Backstory:
During the show' second season, Chase returned as the guest host and Murray, channeling the resentment of the rest of the cast, decided it was go time. "I got into a fight with Chevy the night he came back to host. That was because I was the new guy, and it was sort of like it was my job to do that," Murray says. "It would have been too petty for someone else to do that. It' almost like I was goaded into that."
The Beatdown:
Recalls Blues Brothers director John Landis: "I didn't know Bill Murray, but he's screaming, you know, foaming at the mouth, 'Fucking Chevy,' and in anger he says, 'Medium talent!' And I thought, 'Oh boy, that's funny. In anger he says "medium talent."' That really impressed me. I went, 'So, Bill Murray - wow, who is that guy?'"
The Winner:
#7.
Mick Jagger vs. Charlie Watts
The Backstory:
What' surprising, though, is that it wasn't Keith Richards, considering their decades-long love-hate relationship. It was quiet, unassuming Charlie Watts, the country gentleman who sits behind the drum kit and looks comatose most of the time.
The Beatdown:
Watts reportedly got up, shaved, got dressed in a custom-made Savile Row suit, put on a crisply knotted tie and freshly shined shoes, came downstairs, and-in Richards' words-"dished him out a great fucking right hook." Jagger was knocked into a plate of smoked salmon, and Richards had to grab his leg to prevent him from sliding along the table, out the open window and into a canal 20 stories below. "Don't ever call me 'your drummer' again," Watts told Jagger. "You're my fucking singer."
The Winner:
#6.
Jimmy Stewart vs. Henry Fonda
The Backstory:
The Beatdown:
The Winner:
But not only did Hammerin's Hank reportedly get the best of Stewart in their dust-up, Fonda also went on to sire an even more radical daughter, dubbed "Hanoi Jane" for her sympathy for the Communist foe during the Vietnam War. Better yet, she then married broadcasting mogul Ted Turner, who so upset Stewart by colorizing his classic It' a Wonderful Life that Stewart appeared before Congress begging them to end this practice. In the long term, Stewart got owned.
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what about Jerry Lawler piledriving Andy Kaufman on Letterman, breaking his neck in the process
No, wait, I'm thinking of Kevin James.
What makes the John Lovitz/Andy Dick 'fight' even more awesome? Apparently, Lovitz has a f*****g black belt.
"Axl Rose having his ass handed to him by Tommy Hilfiger is most certainly the day that music died for anyone raised on Appetite for Destruction." f*****g brilliant!!!!!!!
What about Harrison Ford vs. Joe Rogen? Harrison Ford spilled beer on Rogen (at a UFC event) and apologiezed to him. Rogen didn't accept his apology and called him "grandpa", so Harrison Ford punched him in the face (presumably knocking him out, then grabbing Calista Flockhart and swinging away on a whip.) Ford has since been "banned" from UFC events, even though he can still be seen during televised broadcasts (because you just can't say "no" to Indiana Jones-Jack Ryan-Han Solo.)
tom vs. uncle tom. too funny
Now i have never liked the Rolling stones. Probably because the only people i know who listen to it are old. But Charlie Watts, man! Run of the mill rage would have led him straight out of bed to kick Jagger's ass. But to take the time to shave and get decked out all the while thinking "I'm gonna f**k him up" is pure cold blooded hatred. I bow to you sir.
my god, i never knew charlie watts was such a badass. he really does look comatose.
seriously, do you know how much balls it takes to almost kill mick jagger and then make him the least important member of the freaking rolling stones?
im guessing you do.
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Charlie Watts is very classy.
I LOVE the Watts vs. Jagger story!
the doodooman's full of doodoo
ridiculous,right?------------
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People can say all they want about Chevy Chase and his supposed dickness. But come on people!! The man was 'Fletch'!!! Am I the only one who sees him for the comic genius that he once was? And could be again, if he was just given another chance.
I love the Charlie Watts/Mick Jagger one! Even if it's not true, it's a damn good story!
Fonda may have sired Hanoi Jane, but it's worth noting that while his daughter was consorting with the Charlies in North Vietnam, Brigadier General James Stewart was dropping bombs on them from a B-52.
Was Paris vs Shanna really that improbable? They're both drunk bitchy functionally retarded bleach blonde s**t-faces who frequent the same clubs and screw the same guys. It was bound to happen eventually.
LOL, really good article
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Commie Fonda cocksuckers.
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i wonder why jagger vs watts wasn't higher on this list cuz that is just so perfect. charlie couldn't have made jagger more his b***h even if he pulled down his (i assume) perfectly creased pants and made mick suck it. can we make an entire movie just based on this story cuz i'd like to see that.