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Thoughts of the Average American (As Imagined By Network Executives)

By Regicides Anonymous April 27, 2007 41,634 views
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Thoughts of the Average American Television Viewer
(As Imagined By Network Executives)

"If I cannot see sports scores, stock reports, and weather forecasts scrolling across the bottom of the screen at all times, I will kill myself."

"I can't wait to see this overweight middle aged comic and his disproportionately attractive wife deal with their adolescent children in a humorously unorthodox, though ultimately conservative manner."

"I don't see enough petty, selfish individuals in my daily life. Therefore, I will tune in to tonight's scheduled reality television show."

"You cannot make a television show too stupid for me to watch."

"I was going to change the channel until the network reminded me, halfway through the first commercial break, that the program would 'be right back.' I had previously been under the impression that the program was lost and would never return."

"I find this sitcom intellectually challenging."

"I am completely unaware of the fact that the corporation being investigated by the FBI in this news segment owns this news station. Even if I were aware of this fact, I would put great faith in the objectivity and journalistic integrity of this enormous media conglomerate."

"Becker is not on TV enough."

Matt,
Did they really say:
'you cant do this im an American citizen'?
Sounds like just the type of a*****e who can afford to travel
and did they say it super slow so the person could understand? :D .... i'm so embarrassed to be an american [see, i didnt even capitalize it] :D

6/20/2008 11:15:59 AM
stinkysGTI

:D spot on, on just about everything actually. I especially liked the 4th page

6/20/2008 11:13:25 AM
stinkysGTI

Spot on with the American life worth thing. :P

5/28/2008 5:11:00 AM
Black-Velvet

all true

4/16/2008 1:57:17 AM
davo

funny though

4/1/2008 9:42:36 AM
Gemineye870530

notice how matt didn't have any problems with the other ones.

4/1/2008 9:41:32 AM
Gemineye870530

hilarious

3/19/2008 3:08:46 AM
somedumbfucker

Yawn, people are stupid yadda yadda.

1/24/2008 1:24:10 PM
Satan

f*****g Becker. f**k!

1/19/2008 2:52:14 AM
CIA Scrotum

I think the bit about 1 American life is equal to 10 European lives etc, as apart from being arrogant alot of the time, when my grandparents were on holiday, some yanks werent getting served at dinner so they complained saying 'you cant do this im an American citizen', well f**k a doodle doo!

12/13/2007 3:13:39 AM
Matt

this is hilarous

11/30/2007 9:03:56 PM
jr

Pretty damn funny.

11/17/2007 12:24:27 AM
loonmagic
Cracked stuff on