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Monkeys Vs. Toddlers: Who Can Kick Whose Ass?

By Dale Dobson August 19, 2007 34,297 views
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Though monkeys and toddlers usually fetch similar prices on the black market, American consumers seem split over which make better household companions. CRACKED decided to let the scientific method settle this age-old debate once and for all.

HEY LOOK IT BUSH

11/26/2007 9:17:32 AM
NIGHTMARE

I think the monkey won outright. You gave the toddler a point by setting the monkey alight. Why not do it to both?

11/18/2007 10:35:41 PM
unknown

@Gorgonzola. Yup, thats true. But still. I would save a cute kiddie over a smelly monkey anyday.

11/12/2007 11:08:00 AM
Benito

I LOVE monkeys, they're delicious!

10/28/2007 10:11:14 AM
unknown

This is likely the greatest thing I have ever bore witness to. I no longer feel the need to inhabit this universe. Farewell.

10/23/2007 6:08:01 PM
runlikehell

The sad part is that from Nature's point of view, 1 monkey is more valuable that 1 infant. With the state of the world today, do we really need another spoiled, overweight (i.e. American) brat?

I'll take the monkey.

10/22/2007 12:33:09 PM
Gorgonzola

At least the monkey tried to fix the already lost cause.

10/15/2007 11:18:50 AM
zombie_girl
Cracked stuff on