Why Hollywood Can't Stop Remaking the Same 4 Stories

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Three Peter Pans Are Currently in Development

It's been just about a decade since the last live-action appearance of Peter Pan, and Hollywood has suddenly decided that's been 10 years too long. The remedy? Not one, not two, but three different Peter Pan remakes.

In November it was announced that the director of Pride and Prejudice and Atonement will be taking on the new Warner Bros. Peter Pan flick, which will focus on our green boy's mysterious past. And considering Joe Wright's previous projects, we can probably expect a sex scene or 20 and a whole lot of emotionally charged cleavage.

Sky Movies
Hopefully they can bring Bob Hoskins' gay Smee out of retirement.

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We've Got Four Different Wizard of Oz Shows Coming

The 1939 MGM classic The Wizard of Oz is approaching its 75th anniversary, and the TV world is under the impression that the 2013 combo of Sam Raimi and James Franco wasn't enough to piss on the family-friendly franchise by itself. Why? Because there are four different studios making four different Oz train wrecks.

Walt Disney
Nothing you love is safe.

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Another Tarzan Will Begin Filming Right After We See the New Tarzan

Over the last few months, select A-list celebrities have been approached to join the casting of the upcoming Tarzan movie, which will begin filming next summer. Notable names include True Blood's Alexander Skarsgard, who'll play Tarzan, and Christoph Waltz, cast as Tarzan's rival. With David Yates, who directed the last four Harry Potter films, on board and Emma Stone on the shortlist for Jane, it seems the next Tarzan might not be excruciating.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
"If only there were a British Emma, with whom I had a working relationship, that I could cast ... Oh, well."

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We Have Two Different Hercules Movies Coming Out Next Year

And if you've been hounding for another remake of the old tale of the demigod boy who was born because his god dad couldn't keep it in his immortal pants, there's not one but two different big-budget Herculean remakes coming out over the next year, with Hercules, starring The Rock, and Hercules: The Legend Begins, starring the other vampire from Twilight, Kellan Lutz.

variety.com
We really have no idea what Hercules actually looked like.

Lutz's Hercules will be hitting the screens in February 2014, only five months before Dwayne Johnson's Hercules in July. And neither of them are beating down untrodden paths: Johnson's Hercules is based on a gritty graphic novel called Hercules: The Thracian Wars, whereas Lutz's Hercules showcases our hero fighting for his life in a coliseum. Realistically, we can probably throw the new 300 movie, which comes out in March, into this lineup, because that's all the same swords-and-sandals shit.

Warner Bros.
Hercules, without the daddy issues.

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