Chuck E. Cheese, the iconic mascot of the world's most famous kid's birthday party destination, is getting a makeover. In an effort to boost lagging sales, the famous pizza chain/corporate baby sitter is ditching Chuck's current look, which could best be described as "Who the hell knows? A mouse in a hat or some shit?" in favor of a more modern getup. In this case, "modern" of course means "The video game version of Kurt Cobain."
Obligatory Courtney Love lawsuit to follow.
Apparently, early '90s nostalgia is huge with the grade school set. Either that, or some dipshit "marketing professional" graduated from college in 1992, settled into an entry level job at Chuck E. Cheese's, promptly stopped giving a shit about what people care about (even though it's an essential function of a marketing job) and has been climbing the corporate ladder through sheer corporate politics and seniority ever since. In turn, Chuck E. Cheese's has been coasting by on this person's blatant lack of talent for all these years and as a result now finds itself pulling this desperate bullshit to get kids interested in its pizza rat again.
The saddest part of it all is that this mysterious marketing slacker who we've invented for the purpose of this argument is about to fuck Chuck all over again. Why, you ask? Because this sad attempt at a return to relevance is aimed squarely at the wrong target.