The 6 Craziest Superman Stories Ever Written (Twice)

6

Jimmy Olsen Switches Brains With a Gorilla

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Before we get to the part where someone explains to us how a story line like this could possibly happen twice, we'd like it if someone could first tell us how it happens even once. Jimmy Olsen switches brains with a gorilla? Where do you go from there? You'd literally have to reveal Superman's identity by having a fire-breathing dragon burn the disguise right from his body to top that kind of stupidity.

5

Superman's Identity Is Revealed When a Dragon Burns the Disguise Off His Body

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Come on. Twice? Superman fell for this pedestrian bullshit twice? Superman? Check out the cover on the right. That's the latter of the two dragon showdowns, and you'll note that Superman is acknowledging the indestructibility of his Superman costume in the face of dragon fire in the dialogue. This brings up a pretty obvious question: Why didn't he just make his clothes out of the same stuff the Superman costume is made of? From the looks of things, even the dragon knew to strap on some reinforced gear for the rematch. The decision to show up dressed like a cubicle jockey was far from a super one, Clark Kent.

4

No Money for Jimmy

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These two stories, running in January 1968 and November 1972, prove that Jimmy Olsen is either the luckiest or unluckiest man on the planet. Most people only lose a fortune once, but thanks to his "friend" Superman, Jimmy lost two of them. Best of all, it's clear that in the 1972 issue (on the right), Jimmy remembers what happened the first time, and knows better than to let Superman fuck things up for him. And of course ...

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... this eventually happens anyway.

3

Jimmy's Dying Wish

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These comics, from December 1956 and July 1969, raise a few questions. First off, what exactly was part B in Jimmy's master plan, wherein he actually gets away with conning a superhuman being without getting ball-kicked into deep space? More importantly, though, how many times do you need to force Superman to tell you his secret identity? That seems to us like the sort of thing that only needs to happen once.

2

Jimmy Olsen Is a Werewolf

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Seriously, not only are the curse, method of delivery and cure the same, but they both have that same shade of purple sky, that same horrible suit that Jimmy is wearing, a group of women who are terrified of him and a concerned-looking Superman in one of the upper corners. How is this not the exact same product? This is the stuff that class action lawsuits are made of.

1

None of Superman's Friends Can Have Water

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OK, maybe the water in that first cover is polluted or something, let's not jump to conclusions. But seriously, issue No. 115 (on the right) ... there's no excuse for that madness. Superman is holding his pitcher of water over Jimmy and Aquaman in a desert. They are thirsting to death, and he's just smirking and saying, "Nope, the rules say only one of you survives." Holy hell. When did the Superman comics become The Highlander?