On the bright side, at least the kids in the audience have enough decency to shield their eyes from the racial atrocity unfolding before them.
Deutsche Weihnacht ... Und Festliche Lieder
In Germany, Heino is a beloved entertainer whose blond hair and sunglasses are iconic. In America, Heino looks like a sex offender. Between the slightly crossed eyes hidden behind thick dark glasses, the half-open mouth suggesting that creepy tongue movements are coming your way, and his "There's no way I'm not a rapist" sweater, his is the face that launched a thousand pictures of missing kids on milk cartons.
It doesn't help that Heino appears to be lurking outside of someone's house with what we can only assume is a stolen Christmas tree. "Come celebrate Christmas with me, kid!" he would say. Don't worry, his ankle bracelet went off as soon as he left his front yard. Just stay inside until the police arrive and you'll be fine.
You can read more from Mark, and also listen to his Christmas album, at his personal website.