The 4 Worst Recent Police Fails in America

4

St. Louis Police Stop Looking at Fingerprints, Start Arresting the Wrong People

Fingerprints are like anuses in that no two are the same and cops love checking them for clues. Fingerprinting suspects is as basic as police work gets -- unless you're the police in St. Louis, Missouri, who apparently prefer a more lax "let's just arrest whoever" approach. Take Shannon McNeal, who was arrested for having the same name as another woman who's 14 years younger than her ... and also dead. Even though her fingerprints didn't match, McNeal was thrown in jail and ended up paying $15,000 in fees.

stltoday.com
"We're not ruling out reincarnation."

3

Multiple Cops Are Caught Speeding ... to Get to Lunch

We've all seen a cop car jet past us with no sirens and assumed they had some reason for doing it, probably a serial-killer-related one. Or, you know, they were just hungry. Among the many, many cases of police officers recently caught speeding for no good reason are some like the North Carolina Highway Patrol officer clocked going at 80 mph ... only to pull up at a Dunkin' Donuts like some kind of ridiculous cartoon stereotype.

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"They just got their eggnog-flavored stuff in. Let's roll!"

2

Cops Keep Having Their Guns Stolen, or Losing Them

Most people have taken something from their place of work at some point, be it a stapler, or a hamburger they were supposed to throw out, or a semi-automatic rifle. Or several. Yep, in Washington, D.C., alone, the cops have managed to lose at least a few hundred weapons -- mostly from cops taking them home, even after retirement.

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"What? They were just sitting around."

1

New Mexico Police Dog Is on a "Brutally Cavity Searching Innocent People" Kick

For one New Mexico citizen, the night started like any other, with a quiet trip to Walmart and a routine traffic stop. Two rectal exams, three forced-defecation searches, three enemas, one colonoscopy, and 14 hours later, things were starting to get a little weird. Apparently it was decided that there was something hiding in the gentleman's bum because he "appeared to be clenching his buttocks," a completely unheard of reaction when confronted by angry cops. No butt-drugs were found, but that didn't stop the cops from going full-blown Deliverance on him.

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"I lost my ring on the first one and we've been looking for it since."

The man filed a lawsuit, but it turns out this is the second time this has happened, as another man was stopped, got extensively bum-searched, and left the cops empty handed. In both stops, the police were using a drug dog named Leo ... who is "wrong pretty often" and whose certification expired years ago. We take some solace in the fact that humans don't have a monopoly on the "irresponsible asshole cop" category.