The 4 Weirdest Anime DVD Extras (Are Weirder Than You Think)

But for the anime Plastic Little, DVD distributor ADV Films cornered this discerning viewer by adding a breast-shaped counter that kept a real-time tally of every time cartoon sweater puppets swayed in the breeze.

"It's a commentary on a metaphor for a symbol that I can't justify my own viewing habits to myself anymore."

Was one of ADV's employees paid to sit in a dank basement, breathe through his mouth and annotate each frame like the Zapruder film? We honestly cannot say, but we do know that ADV loved this idea so much that they trademarked the name "Jiggle Counter." (We're pretty sure the portmanteau "Boobacus" is still up for grabs. Hey everybody, go make your millions!)

Most DVD commentaries offer either A) behind-the-scenes insights on the filmmaking process or B) the cast and crew hopelessly shithoused. But the "Fun Facts" DVD setting for the science fiction flick The Humanoid revolutionizes this trend, as it teaches you nothing about The Humanoid (and nobody's drunk).

Instead, the commentary accurately recreates the experience of watching a movie with a malfunctioning Cleverbot. The viewer learns a lot about coffee, mustachioed men and bald celebrities, all of which have zero bearing on the film's plot (which is about a robot who learns to love to the sounds of mediocre arena metal, incidentally).

One woman refuses to obey her unseen master. Her primary objection? She doesn't know the rules to the game (she's unfazed by the fact that she's now living in a 1980s Doctor Who episode). The bossy cellar god strikes his kidnapping victims with rainbow chain lightning. His electrical boon blesses them with a basic knowledge of Aquarian Age and lifelong nerve damage.

What follows is a tremendously boring explanatory game, the highlight of which is the English announcer yelling his translation over the original Japanese narration. At the conclusion of the game, the two actresses inexplicably shoot lightning into each other's eyes, which -- in a surprise twist for the DVD's American viewers -- means that they have just passed the Japanese SATs.

"Should this basement have a door, I'm thinking of Cornell."