Apparently somebody pitched My Big Fat Caucasian Wedding at a meeting, and the brainstorming dried up soon after that initial breakthrough. Robert De Niro, who evidently filmed his role while preparing for the lead in an upcoming Michael McDonald biopic, has to pretend to be married to Diane Keaton for the benefit of his adopted son's biological mother, while the rest of the cast has to pretend not to be terrified by Katherine Heigl's goldfish eyes and Robin Williams' rapidly shrinking face.
The poster for the writer/director's last effort, Going Greek, is a group of disproportionately Photoshopped budget actors superimposed on a pair of giant tits. Coincidentally, several of those words can also be used to describe The Big Wedding.
Oblivion presents us with an Earth devastated by a war against a race of aliens that Tom Cruise inexplicably didn't know on a first-name basis, and now he is going to save what's left of humanity with some motorcycle armor and the Super Scope. However, the film's marketing campaign doesn't paint him in the most capable light -- the poster looks like he's really trying to remember the name of Joe Pesci's character in Gone Fishin', and the trailer seems to be about a lonely guy driving his flying scooter across a hollow wasteland and having protracted discussions about baseball with a British lady, interspersed with shots of him falling down holes and being surprised by everything. The movie also stars Morgan Freeman as the person who narrates ridiculous exposition and makes it sound like wisdom (this role is frequently occupied by Liam Neeson).
We're kind of tired of Tom Cruise trying to save the world. He just needs to make something that combines his characters from Tropic Thunder and Risky Business. Now there's a movie. Liam Neeson can narrate it.
Tom is going to see Jurassic Park 3D every goddamn day it is in theaters. Read his novel Stitches and follow him on Twitter.