Right now, 65 percent of Americans are scared shitless that they'll get Ebola. Or 40 percent, or 19 percent, depending on which bullshit poll you're paying attention to -- geez, it's almost as if the news is blatantly exaggerating this situation just for clicks! But the Fourth Estate would never sink so low, right?
Actually, it already has. As our infinity-part series continues to point out, certain news sites remain at a steady 100 percent in terms of being completely up their own asses. That's how everyone you know ends up sharing bogus headlines like ...
7 Science Didn't Just Create a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak
A couple times a year, news sites will start dusting off their best Harry Potter references to announce that, finally, science has discovered the key to total invisibility. Of course, it's always bull- HOLY SHIT THEY DID IT! THEY REALLY DID IT THIS TIME!
"Eat shit, magic!" -Science
An invisible Harry Potter cloak that, according to The Guardian, Fox, and Time costs only, like, a hundred bucks? That's it: prepare to start showering with your clothes on, ladies. With that kind of power, our economy and societal structure as we know it is surely about to collapse! Unless, of course, they're speaking in a ridiculously hyperbolic manner about some minor scientific achievement? You know, like the last time, or the time before that, or the time before that, and so on?