Wait. Why would they have a discount for cash in 1912? Is the brothel taking a lot of checks? That sure sounds like modern English, as do phrases and spellings like "parlors," "ass hole," and "jerk off" -- at least according to one historical linguist who looked the menu over and concluded that not only was the language completely off but painfully written to sound old-timey. But other than that, or the currency being all wrong, or the brothel being run by "Mrs. F.A. Tasse," or ... you know ... the fact that it's a random and unsourced photo on the Internet, we can totally see why everyone fell for this one.
Red Bull Isn't Getting Sued for Claiming to Give You Wings
America's main export isn't machinery or electronics: it's hilarious "frivolous lawsuit" stories that the rest of the world can laugh at while hunting dogs to eat or something. Here's the latest and greatest one:
It turns out it isn't even made from bull blood.
You're looking at NBC News, Telegraph, ABC News, HuffPost, New Zealand Herald, and USA Today all having a good laugh/facepalm over a man who sued Red Bull because it doesn't actually give people wings ... and won! How could that be? Is the judicial system made up entirely of Forrest Gumps and Drax the Destroyers? We could investigate this further, but instead we'll just quit here and make this a meme for the next 20 years, like that McDonald's coffee lawsuit lady (who actually did get seriously hurt).
Tim Boyle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
We just Googled pictures of her wounds, and now we want to sue McDonald's for the emotional distress, too.
Just kidding. It turns out the actual Red Bull lawsuit has nothing to do with growing physical wings out of your body -- it claims that the slogan is a part of a larger false marketing campaign where the energy drink promises a higher physical performance, as opposed to just being another caffeinated beverage. So, where did that other stuff come from? When Snopes traced it back, they found the reason everyone is attributing the lawsuit solely to the power of flight is because most news organizations simply chose to ignore the real story to make the news more interesting. And isn't that what journalism is all about?
No, seriously, we're asking. At this point, we don't even know.
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For more B.S. news you probably believed, check out 6 B.S. News Stories That Went Viral: The Girl With Three Boobs and 5 B.S. Stories That Went Viral: Anti-Roofie Nail Polish.