Taco Bell knows that you only eat their food grudgingly, but they just want to make you happy, baby, so they're changing their ways. Sure, you heard the same tune back when they swore that you were wrong to believe that their taco meat was only 35 percent beef and that the other 65 percent was just sawdust and Mexican tap water, but they're really trying to change this time. Taco Bell loves you. To prove it, they're bringing in celebrity chef Lorena Garcia to make their menus more upscale to compete with the likes of Chipotle and other fast food chains you aren't ashamed to be caught walking out of. Taco Bell executive Brian Niccol even went as far as to describe this menu shift as "gourmet Mexican."

This can only mean one thing. That one thing, of course, is that the 1993 Sylvester Stallone-Wesley Snipes sci-fi/action flick Demolition Man has officially become a staggeringly prophetic masterwork of genius.


In the film, renegade LA cop John Spartan (Stallone) is cryogenically frozen in 1996 and thawed out in 2032 to discover, among other things, that all restaurants are now Taco Bells and all Taco Bells have turned into fine dining establishments that serve the kind of fancy cuisine with portions so small that they couldn't fill the belly of a starving rat, let alone the slurring primitive 'roid monster that is Sly Stallone.

Can you eat the plate?

But we've long since passed the point of wondering if Demolition Man has accurately predicted the future. We already know it has. If anything, this Taco Bell commercial just leads us to wonder if the film's track record of being right about so many other things has led companies to just accept that the movie's vision of the future is the one that we must all follow and plan their marketing strategies accordingly. After all, Demolition Man has proven to be spot on when it comes to predicting some pretty big things.

It started with little things, though. Like the advent of voices in cars that announce upcoming streets, technology that exists today as our run-of-the-mill GPS devices.

Spoiler alert: That talk bubble doesn't actually appear in the film.

The movie also pretty much nailed the invention of video conferencing on handheld devices. Remember this scene, featuring Sandra Bullock communicating by way of what looks like an electronic picture frame?

"I may be in the future, but I'm a long way from an Oscar."

But then the predictions started to get eerie. You might remember Scott Peterson as the maniac who killed his wife in Modesto, California, in 2005 and is currently sitting in prison. In a scene in Demolition Man, police pull up a list of cryo-prisoners who have parole hearings that day. Simon Phoenix (Snipes) is on the list, and so is a familiar name ...

"Quentin Hyde?"

Scott Peterson.

The movie also reminds us how there was once a time when we laughed at the idea of Arnold Schwarzenegger holding any kind of public office, specifically during a scene where Sandra Bullock briefly mentions the Schwarzenegger Presidential Library.

We laughed and thought, "The guy who once talked about how he cums everywhere?"

"Yeah, that'll happen!" we said in 1993 as we watched the incomprehensible shitfest that was Last Action Hero.

Cut to 2011 and Arnold Schwarzenegger is completing his eight-year stint as the governor of California. Demolition Man was years ahead of anyone else on the Schwarzenegger in politics story, and now it has accurately predicted Taco Bell's turn toward the fancy.

If this trend keeps up, what other innovations are in store for us, according to Demolition Man? Toilet paper being replaced by a mysterious set of three sea shells, the outlawing of cursing, alcohol and sex, and a 61st Amendment that allows foreigners to become president of the United States.

Be prepared to be caked in presidential semen very soon. Maybe sooner than you think.

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments