In a ploy that is bound to enrage wheelbarrow enthusiasts worldwide, Monopoly manufacturer Hasbro has recently announced that they are axing one of the eight longtime game tokens in favor of a new piece: a cat.
A cat with an IQ of 300 who knows how to purchase vacant lots in Atlantic City.
Well, Hasbro hasn't officially chosen a new piece, but the selection process relies on Internet voting, so of course it's going to be the goddamn cat. Also, there are no write-in candidates, much to the chagrin of some.
As for the rest of Hasbro's potential tokens, all of them are distinctly un-Monopoly-ish. The guitar, helicopter, and robot are totems of modernity, baubles out of place in a boardwalk-and-flophouse pocket dimension where technology peaked with the invention of Howdy Doody.