Gladstone: Do you understand how money works? It serves a function beyond getting women who find you physically repulsive to grind on your lap for three minutes. The hotel's getting Internet service anyway. What exactly is your money being used for?
Adam: Why don't you get a phone that works as a wireless router like a grownup? Leave the public Wi-Fi to the pedophiles and hackers who need it the most.
Gladstone: Because, Captain Science, this is America. When I go to a hotel, I want getting on Wi-Fi to be as easy as getting on your mom when I come over with a packet of food stamps and a box of Twinkies.
Gladstone: So you realize you and every other guest is paying a fee for one router over and over that's already been paid for. Do you like being screwed like that because it reminds you of Dad?
Adam: You do realize local phone calls are like a minimum of one dollar each at a hotel, right? But nobody bitches about that because your cellphone makes paying that fee obsolete. And guess what? Most of them can do the same thing for paying Wi-Fi fees. You should be glad when hotels charge for Wi-Fi, at least they aren't jacking your room rate up for it. Now just plug your phone into your computer and use that delicious Internet flowing through it to read your precious fan fiction. If you haven't figured out that you can do that with your phone, it's your fault for letting technology pass you by.
Gladstone: Since you like paying for things for no reason, could you take care of my student loans?
Adam: I certainly agree that you're owed a refund by whatever institution claims to have "educated" you, for whatever that's worth.
Adam: Pick your battles, people. If you're using something in a hotel, you're paying for it, whether they charge you separately or not.
Gladstone: At this point I'd like to disqualify Mr. Brown from the debate. It's obvious he cannot think clearly when it comes to getting used in a hotel.