Cracked Quick Fixes Archive
3 Telltale Signs Your Online Girlfriend Is a Scam
If you begin receiving suspicious emails from a gorgeous athlete about needing donations for new tassels for the 2014 Winter Olympics, consult this list immediately.
- Authors
- By Cyriaque Lamar
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555
555 3 Bizarre Ways Animals Have Learned to Speak Like Humans
We've talked before about creepy animals that do human things, seemingly for the explicit purpose of casting doubt on our belief in a sane, non-fractured universe. These three animals taught themselves how to speak, ensuring that you remain troubled for the foreseeable future.
- Authors
- By Karl Smallwood
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- 385
10 Celebrity Twitter Accounts We Lost in 2012
2012 saw the Internet popularity contest Twitter lose many of its famous users. These celebrity departures resulted in a shameful number of people giving a shit.
- Authors
- By Karl Smallwood
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- 825
4 Reasons Why Fair Trade Coffee Is a Scam
Coffee is the second most valuable resource exported from poor and/or developing countries (Angelina Jolie's children being the first).
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- By Gregory Myers
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- 627
The 4 Least Anticipated Movies of December 2012
Hollywood dumps an entire summer's worth of wannabe blockbusters into December, so here are the movies you should probably avoid this month.
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- By Tom Reimann
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- 789
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Does Green Day Have a Yoko Ono Problem?
- Authors
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- Comments
- 506
Why the 'Men in Black' Agency Is Just a Huge Con
We're on to you, Will Smith ... you sly, sexy devil.
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- By David Christopher Bell
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- Comments
- 685
6 Pathetic Attempts by Corporations to Create a Superhero
Some superheroes stand for truth and justice. Others stand for an incorporated product that's desperately and shamelessly targeting young children for their parents' money.
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- By Chris Snipes
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- 805
5 New Space Projects Even More Awesome Than the Mars Rover
These projects each deserve their own double album of Steven Tyler's trademark imitation of a humpback whale's death knell.
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- By Chris Rio, Kier Harris
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- Comments
- 403
5 Bizarrely Specific Subgenres of Horror Movies
Horror is the only genre of film that produces unapologetically terrible movies that people willingly go to see.
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- By Isaac Minarik
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- 864
6 People Who Should Be Banned from Driving in the Left Lane
Who should also just be banned from the road in general.
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- By Brenna Crotty
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- 928
5 Grimm Fairy Tales You Should Only Read to Kids You Hate
Many of Grimm's fairy tales have been lightened up for modern children. However, some of them are beyond any hope, and should only be read to children you hate.
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- By James Freetly
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- 1031
Failed Relationships Understood Via U.S. Wars
War is an incredibly complex, ever-changing topic, and understanding military history is both time-consuming and very, very hard work. So we're going to explain it in terms most anyone can understand: ex-girlfriends.
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- By Eric Reed
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- 781
4 Most Hilarious Public Screw-Ups Caused by Sloppy Googling
Time is tight. We get that. But if your job involves any form of gathering information to be consumed by bucketloads of people, you want to make sure that your Internet searches are performed with as much attention to detail as possible.
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- By Diana Cook
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- 681
What James Bond Movies Tell Us About the Economy
It turns out that James Bond was specifically designed to appeal to people enduring serious economic hardships, sort of like NASCAR.
- Authors
- By Kathy Benjamin
- Published
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- 346
