We must accept that this nation will remain hopelessly polarized until the day when a plague of antifungal-resistant ringworm makes everyone far too itchy to form and retain opinions. While the news media tend to focus on our rape-baby-based disagreements, the rifts are deeper and far more fundamental than that.
The only way to truly figure out why Obama and Romney voters exist on such separate sides of the political dance floor is to drill down into their most cherished preferences and desires.
Cracked investigates what makes these morons -- who will put on pants and go vote even though it doesn't matter because we all know that the president is a preselected extraterrestrial reptile -- tick.
Obama Voters Are More Likely to Prefer ...
Sex With the Lights on Rather Than With the Lights Off