6 Things We Already Know About the Next Iron Man Movie

As seen in: Spider-Man 3, The Dark Knight Rises, X-Men: The Last Stand

Right away the trailer establishes Tony Stark's fear of losing Pepper, hinting that their relationship will be tested to the max in this film. This makes perfect sense; the first film is always the origin, the second is off and running, and the third is the one where we have to inexplicably deal with human emotion all of a sudden.

Assuming Robert Downey Jr. counts as human.

In The Dark Knight Rises, Bruce is forced to suddenly address the fact that Alfred refuses to stay and watch him die despite having no problem with it for two damn films, Spider-Man 3 follows the strain between Mary Jane and Peter, and even the third X-Men movie managed to sneak in a three-way love story between Iceman, Rogue, and that Juno chick. Why? Because they're two movies down and they used all the good villains already -- that's why.

As seen in: Spider-Man 3, The Dark Knight Rises, X-Men: The Last Stand

Tony Stark says it himself in the trailer: "No politics here, just good old-fashioned revenge." He has established his heroness and figured out how to use his powers, now all that's left is for him to become a wrathful asshole all of a sudden. After all, a film without internal conflict is like a Yoo-Hoo: novel every once in a while, but terrible in retrospect.

This is why Peter needed the black suit in the last Spider-Man, Bruce needed his injury cane beard weird robe man in The Dark Knight Rises, and Jean Grey needed to Phoenix out like a maniac -- otherwise it's just the same characters being all nice and shit.

"THRILL as Tony Stark drinks mai tais on his deck!"

As seen in: Spider-Man 3, The Dark Knight

We already know that Guy Pearce is playing the evil scientist guy Dr. Killian, and boy is he smarming that shit up. The hair alone is enough to convict a man of attempted rape, let alone the fact that he has Guy Pearce's face. You couple that with Ben Kingsley's slow rolling enunciations and more than generous hairline and you're looking at an Odd Couple tag team. One is neat, rich, and charming, and the other looks like he was beaten with a hobo stick.

This is apparently how we're coupling third-movie bad guys now. We had clean-cut Eddie Brock with Grunge McDeepvoice Sandman, and, of course, we had socialite secret ninja Talia with squeaky Bane. It's the new dynamic -- fancy brains with funny-voiced brawn. Get used to it.

It happened to Jean Grey after mind-exploding Alcatraz, it sure as shit happened to Batman after Gotham exploded and what was no doubt the worst away football game ever had. You can bet your ass that Stark's house-turned-CGI-firework will serve as some sort of wake-up call.

Why? Because if a conflict doesn't result in a ground war, then it clearly wasn't important enough to watch three movies for.