6 Obscure New Movies More People Should Be Excited About

Now take that film's same lunatic director and apply Jon Heder, the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite. What do we get from that?

Realitism Films
Committed to an asylum?

Right. While those images totally speak for themselves -- we'll go ahead and explain anyway. The film is called Reality and -- from what we know of the festival reviews -- is a series of interweaving and bizarre stories about such topics as the rat-man pictured above playing the host of a four camera cooking show. According to Heder's Instagram, the mask was originally going to be of a horse -- which we assume was changed because that would have just been fuckin' weird, right?

Additional plot gibberish includes a little girl who finds a VHS cassette tape inside the guts of a hunted boar, and a producer making a film about TVs that use radio waves to kill people. Yes, the least weird plot point sounds like Videodrome.

But maybe there's hope, because the 'Nolds newest appears too crazy to fail as it follows a bathtub factory employee who, when driving a co-worker home, hits a deer with his car and ends up mercy killing it after the deer starts verbally begging him to. Then he goes ahead and kills his co-worker as well, because killing is way more fun in pairs.

Lions Gate Entertainment
...Not unlike the only thing you're looking at in this picture

That's when it starts to get kind of weird... as our budding psycho decides to bring the woman's severed head home to get the advice of his pet dog and cat who, yep, totally can talk to him -- one in a Scottish brogue and the other a kindly Southern drawl.

Lions Gate Entertainment
They want to secede from the UK because of Obamacare.

Oh right. The severed head also talks. Can't forget that.

Lions Gate Entertainment
Ryan Reynolds? Severed head? Shit, now we got rage flashbacks to Wolverine: Origins.

The rest of the film is apparently Ryan Reynolds discussing his mental problems with his two pets and an undead head he keeps in his refrigerator like the Leatherface version of Pee Wee's Playhouse. Later, he decides that the head is lonely, so he goes ahead and gets a few more to join her in the fridge -- all of them as chatty as the first one. So if you know anyone whose two favorite movies are Homeward Bound and American Psycho, give them the good news, as it might inspire them to let you out of their basement.

Yeah... literally. If he stops dancing then his heart will literally stop. And if you're wondering why he looks like a strung out member of Duran Duran, that's because this film takes place in 1980s Greece as it follows our jiggy hero hanging out in an Athens dive bar called Disco Zardoz. From that gem of a concept, he meets a drug dealer and a prostitute to accompany him on... and we're quoting... "an adventure that leads them to the bowels of the earth." More specifically, the "Kingdom of Mathousalas" that apparently exists in Earth's core. Sure!

Although the exact nature of this trek is scantily detailed on the synopsis, the following trailer stills seem to indicate that the whole ordeal was adapted exclusively from David Bowie's nightmare journal.

Horsefly Productions
Not to be confused with Bowie's "good dream" journal, which is 70 pages of nude self-portraits.

That's how it's been since the emergence of the gimmick which, by the way, is drawing less and less of a crowd per year on account of it being the cinematic equivalent of a guy who won't stop playing guitar at a party. And while companies are trying like mad to make 3-D more comfortable for the audience, French New Wave director Jean-Luc Godard has gone ahead and embraced the other side of the coin. You know, the one covered in eye blood.

Wild Bunch
And tears from ears.

Imagine you're watching a 3-D movie scene with two characters. Now imagine your brain wrenching into a series of agonizing skull cartwheels when one of those two characters suddenly leaves the shot. You begin to claw at your face in confusion before realizing that each eye is actually seeing a totally different image: One of the first character, and the other following the second... which is exactly what happens in Godard's newest Goodbye to Language -- your standard experimental mindfuck heightened by the filmmaker completely separating the 3-D camera lenses while shooting.

Wild Bunch
And himself from fucks given.

But it's not all aisle seizures and headaches, for the film showcases every part of the newly discovered spectrum -- from beautiful and standard 3-D shots, to slightly separating your vision so as to see around corners that you normally wouldn't, to the full on ocular pandemonium of following two scenes at once. To put that all in sex terms: if 2-D is first base, and 3-D is second base, this film would be like giving the umpire a rimjob.

Can you believe that shit? That there Skycaptain Hobo Of Tomorrow is also Chris Pine -- unrecognizable as shit and once again rocking the apocalypse eyewear in the latest Carnahan flick Stretch -- which is apparently about a chauffeur who takes a job from an insane billionaire. From there's it's all cock graffiti and robot faces, which we're all going to have to see the film to contextualize beyond this:

Universal Pictures
As if robocock needs context.

With an additional cast of Jessica Alba, Norman Reedus, Patrick Wilson, Ed Helms, Ray Liotta, and fucking David Hasselhoff, one would assume this film would be on the hearts and minds of every God-fearing citizen of the United States -- and yet,despite coming out this fucking month, has had next to no marketing attached. While we'd normally blame this on the film being too bat-balls crazy to advertise, considering that it has an easily sellable Chris Pine ass shot, our second guess is that we're dealing with the Ark Of The Covenant of film -- too deadly to unleash but too powerful to destroy.

The idea was to create a documentary exposing the evil of the Nazi regime so as to show German citizens exactly the kind of bullshit they had been supporting. Eventually the film was scrapped by the British government in the interest of a more tactful method of reconciliation, but not before bringing in Alfred Friggin' Hitchcock as a "supervising director" to aid the stark narrative of the film in post-production. After that, the film was scrapped and forgotten...

Paramount Pictures
Along with Hitler's brain and Nazi-fusion.

At least until 40 years later, when a US researcher rummaging through the vaults of London's Imperial War Museum stumbled upon a film can labeled F3080 and found the lost and unofficial Hitchcock film footage almost entirely succumbed to time... until now. Thanks to three years of laboring frame by frame, the reel is not only fully restored, but has been assembled so as to match the original shot lists for the film. The whole ordeal will be lumped into a documentary about how this film came to be called Night Will Fall.

U.S. Office of War Information
A film so scary that it made Hitchcock cry for a week.

So while we all love Chris Pine's ass and dancing vampires -- unflinching Holocaust footage supervised by an expert in cinematic discomfort should probably be something people are lawfully required to power through, no matter how upsetting. Also, it's narrated by Helena Bonham Carter, who totally seems like the kind of person Hitchcock would have tried to bang.

Tell David about the movies you're most excited for on his Twitter.

For further wackadoo cinema, check out 4 Ridiculous Monsters Who Are Getting Their Own Horror Films and 4 Signs 'Mad Max 4' Is Probably the Craziest Movie Ever Made.