This already legendary Internet tale involves a man waiting in line at Burger King in front of a screaming, pie-demanding child -- inspiring our cleft-chinned, possibly Neo-like protagonist to buy out all the pies in the store to teach the kid a lesson. He then slowly ate one of the delicious treats while looking at the brat's mother, who tried to charge at him but was too late to stop his cool and relaxed exit. Classic! It's like something out of a sitcom! More specifically, NBC's 30 Rock, where Tina Fey does something similar at a hot dog stand:
Clearly, our hero was inspired by that episode (or one of the other variations of this story that have been posted online over the years, as Snopes points out) when he pulled his totally-real feat. So what's the name we get to etch onto this guy's medal? Well, that's the other thing: No one knows, because -- like all news now, apparently -- this story came off of an anonymous Reddit post with not a single shred of evidence it happened. As commenters started asking for further details, the post was deleted and the guy went quiet. We would say that he had it coming for making it all up, but when the "it" in this case is unanimous media attention, then it feels like the real joke is on society.