Our world is filled with wonders, and -- if you're lucky enough to have some vacation days and some scratch for a plane ticket -- you too can become overwhelmed by the timeless beauty of ancient pieces of art and fantastical natural phenomena. And thankfully, some tourists deal with all of this mind-blowing wonder by just ruining said beauty forever with their greasy, fat tourist paws. (Whoops, did we say "thankfully"? We actually meant "fuckthosedudesfully.")
5Teenager Scratches His Name into Ancient Egyptian Temple
Back in May, a Chinese teenager named Ding Jinhao was touring an ancient Egyptian temple when he decided that the 3,000-year-old site was too boring for him and promptly resolved to spice it up by defacing the shit out of it. How do we know it was Ding Jinhao? Because he was smart enough to carve his own name into the wall.
You know, for future generations.
Again, that's a 3,000-year-old temple. This piece of art managed to remain pretty much unchanged for three freaking millennia, surviving wars, invasions, and the brutal passage of time, only to be ruined by a bored 15-year-old (who probably went off to draw dicks on a mummy or something). See, this probably wouldn't have happened if his parents had just let him bring his DS and stayed at the hotel. Moral of the story: For the sake of humanity, don't educationally enrich your damn kids.
4Tourist Finds Extremely Rare Six-Legged Octopus, Eats It
American tourist/possible Bond villain Labros Hydras was out snorkeling in the waters of Greece when he came across a six-legged octopus. Hydras realized right away that this isn't something you encounter every day (in fact, it's only the second six-legged octopus ever found) ... so of course he fucking ate it.
For the second course, he had fried dodo with a side of bald eagle tears.