5 Tourists Who Managed to Be the Worst People In the World

5

Teenager Scratches His Name into Ancient Egyptian Temple

Back in May, a Chinese teenager named Ding Jinhao was touring an ancient Egyptian temple when he decided that the 3,000-year-old site was too boring for him and promptly resolved to spice it up by defacing the shit out of it. How do we know it was Ding Jinhao? Because he was smart enough to carve his own name into the wall.

China Daily
You know, for future generations.

4

Tourist Finds Extremely Rare Six-Legged Octopus, Eats It

American tourist/possible Bond villain Labros Hydras was out snorkeling in the waters of Greece when he came across a six-legged octopus. Hydras realized right away that this isn't something you encounter every day (in fact, it's only the second six-legged octopus ever found) ... so of course he fucking ate it.

SWNS
For the second course, he had fried dodo with a side of bald eagle tears.

3

Gleeful Beachgoers Pose for Photos With Dying Dolphin

And here's a news story that'll remind you that the human race is way overdue for a salubrious, species-cleansing, good ol' fashioned meteor strike. A group of tourists swimming at a beach in the Hainan region of China recently found an injured dolphin floating near the shore. The animal had likely been knocked astray after colliding with a watercraft. Upon discovering the wounded animal, the swimmers immediately contacted animal control authorities while comforting the cetacean as that Michael Jackson song from Free Willy suddenly resounded from the heavens.

2

Man Breaks 600-Year-Old Statue's Finger While Trying to Measure It

While touring the Museo dell'Opera del Duomo in Florence, Italy, an unnamed tourist from Missouri accidentally snapped off the pinky finger of a 14th century statue. The man had a perfectly logical reason to manhandle the statue, though -- he was trying to measure the appendage.

MAURIZIO DEGL' INNOCENTI/EPA
Italy has since banned him from visiting Michelangelo's David.

1

Hitchhikers Spray Paint Ireland's World Famous Cliffs of Moher

For centuries, the Cliffs of Moher have been one of the most breathtaking sights in Ireland; they are a testament to the fact that people may come and go, but the majesty of nature remains.

Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images
They were also the bomb in The Princess Bride.

An impressive view, right? Well, two French hitchhikers felt that it would be greatly improved if it looked more like an inner-city garage door -- so they spray painted 8 feet worth of graffiti crapola all over the rocks.

David Olsthoorn / BBC
Immediately after they finished, a crack dealer materialized and someone got stabbed.

The vandalizing pair, who call themselves "Mama" and "Dirty Edoir," even uploaded a video on Vimeo (which has since been removed) as a guide on how to deface the Cliffs of Moher. Take a good look at the photo above, because a year from now the whole thing will probably look like a giant skate park.

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