Now that American movie theater attendance is at its lowest since the days of Waterworld and Judge Dredd (the one with Stallone), alphabetically labyrinthine home theater products like VOD on 4K 3D UHD TVs can finally reign supreme. The only decision you have to make is which assortment of letters will provide you with the best viewing of Hard Rain that money can buy.
To help, we sent a team to this year's Consumer Electronics Show to find the newest HD innovations in gaming, television, and heinous pornography. Our efforts found that the TVs of the future are less like a technographic wall of blinding progress and more like a Sisyphean mountain of eternal madness.
5 For Starters, There's a Huge Chance Your New TV Will Be Obsolete in a Year
Back in the days when The Cosby Show hadn't been recontextualized as the opening credits sequence from Se7en, Americans got their entertainment on unspeakably heavy cathode ray tube (or CRT) televisions that received broadcasts using something called NTSC encoding. It was basically a way to streamline how video was recorded and aired by standardizing the format. In the rest of the world this format was called PAL or SECAM -- once again affirming the United States' desire to be its own special little island when it comes to standardized units.
"The Metric system is a fad." -America