It's almost August, folks. Has the summer of 2014 felt a little bit off to you? Not quite as good as summers past? Turns out it's not just your complete inability to enjoy anything or experience true happiness -- we've found statistical evidence that proves this summer is the worst one since "Margaritaville" was unleashed on the world.
So, just in case your summer plans weren't ruined already, let us help you expedite that process through the magic of cold, hard facts:
5 The Teenage Summer Job Is a Thing of the Past
Remember the first summer your parents made you get a job? Sure, you thought flipping burgers at the burger-flipping factory sucked at the time, but in the end you probably appreciated the structure. The summer job is practically a rite of passage. Or, if you're a parent, it's a convenient way to get your teens out of the house for a few hours and have some loud adult fun.
"Finally. If had to watch that wiener we wrought screw up this level one more time ..."