5 Pieces of Artwork That Are Scaring The Crap Out Of People

5

Australia's $300,000 Flying Boob Monster

Australia is home to species upon species of unusually terrifying animals. So it's unsurprising that, during their leisure time, Australians wile away the hours inventing critters too horrid for reality.

Nick-D
Oh, hey, God's dead. What else could this mean?

What in the name of Paul Hogan are we talking about? Meet The SkyWhale. According to Australian artist Patricia Piccinni, this hot air balloon is a commentary on the wonders of evolution. And according to a lot of people, The SkyWhale looks like an 111-foot-wide, 75-foot-tall dugong fetus wearing a Rastafarian wig made of tits.

Nick-D
Or Newt Gingrich with better hair.

4

Arizona's 9-Foot-Tall, Dong-Sporting Gargoyle

While The SkyWhale spreads the joy of manatee knockers over the skies of southeast Australia -- half a world away -- another man is teaching the gospel of monster dicks to central Arizona.

When sculptor David Smith moved to the small town of Paulden from the bustling metropolis of Phoenix, he brought his 9-foot-tall, exposed-penis gargoyle with him to display on his front lawn. After all, he had displayed this nude grotesque for six years in Phoenix -- why would Paulden be any different?

My Fox Phoenix
Rural southern communities are normally so tolerant of social deviance!

But while those Phoenix city slickers may tolerate the schlongs of fantasy fauna, the people of Paulden weren't having it. Yavapai County authorities instructed Smith to remove the sculpture, but Smith resisted. ("It just seemed like [the penis] needed to be there. I don't like Ken dolls," he opined.)

13 Wmaz
He's not big on G.I. Joes, either.

3

This Ghoulish Freddie Mercury Gorilla Statue

Recently, the city of Norwich, England removed a statue of a gorilla painted to look like Freddie Mercury after complaints from the deceased Queen frontman's estate.

Michael Ochs Archives / Stringer / Getty
Mr. Mercury's austere dignity has been forever tarnished.

2

Chris Brown's Cartoon Monster Graffiti

Perplexingly famous Law & Order episode-inspirer/all-around awful human being Chris Brown recently got into hot water with his neighbors when he painted googly-eyed monsters on the exterior of his Hollywood Hills home. According to the head of the neighborhood civic association, these "devils on the wall" were scaring children and babies.

Barbara Davidson / LA Times
Making this one of the least offensive ways Chris Brown ever made the news.

Facing fines from the city of Los Angeles, Brown -- who is not renowned around the globe for his sense of child-like whimsy -- painted over this mural by his own choice (or so he claimed). Maybe Brown realized that these Trapper Keeper doodles not-so-subtly conveyed that A) a monster lived in the house, and B) by extension, Brown spends his days conversing with a candelabra and a teacup.

1

Sweden's Giant, Urinating Gollum

And finally, clocking in at shudder-inducing 26 feet tall, we have the sculpture Bad Bad Boy by artist Tommi Toija. Until Sept. 1, this frightening man-child will stand at the side of the River Svartan in the Swedish town of Orebro, emptying his magical bladder for weeks on end to celebrate the town's arts festival.

The Local / Emma Cullen
Later, in October, he'll help the Germans celebrate a more fitting festival.

According to local news, Orebro residents are more befuddled than aghast by Bad Bad Boy. But for the artist, his aesthetic vision was clear -- "For me, it's just a guy peeing in the river," explains Toija. Dude, don't you realize that you're doing nothing to dispel the stereotype that Scandinavia's just filthy with trolls?

The Local / Emma Cullen
To make sure this piece came out perfect, the sculptor observed Andy Serkis urinate for several months without stopping.