From time to time, the local news coughs up a story that's basically the opening 20 minutes of a horror movie -- in other words, the portion of the film between the opening credits and the scene where the doomed, 38-year-old high school cheerleader goes skinny-dipping.
Here are five tales from 2013 that are destined to someday be slapped with a screamingly obnoxious "BASED ON TRUE EVENTS" tag line.
20,000 Bees Invade Elderly Lady's House Unnoticed
From outward appearances, 98-year-old Sevia Moore was living a nice, quiet life in her lovely home in Cocoa Beach, Florida. Her only issue was that she seemed to have an abundance of pesky, freeloading rodents in her house, so a group of wildlife trappers were called to evict them.
When they got there, the crew also uncovered 20,000-plus bees in the attic, making the shit ton of squirrels and rats the least of her problems.
A definite buzz kill for all parties involved.