It was at this point that an actual expert pointed out, in very great detail, that all the evidence points to it being a dolphin. This wasn't good enough for CNN, who somehow squeezed a whole article out of "Wait, no! One of the guys from Shark Week says it could still be a shark! Don't give up the dream, people."
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Wow, No, O.J. Simpson Doesn't Have Brain Cancer
Take the rag away from your face, America: Now ain't the time for your tears. Earlier this month, Huffington Post, Washington Times, and International Business Times dealt this harsh blow to sports fans, Naked Gun fanboys, and wife-murder aficionados:
huffingtonpost.com
WHY, GOD, WHY? OK, yeah, but why else?
So what "report" is this according to, by the way?
![5 More Insane Viral News Stories That Were Total Crap]()
"Bat Boy, Elvis offer their respects."
Yup. As MSN points out (while still fucking reporting it), the entire story comes from an "anonymous source" from the National Enquirer -- the same paper that broke ground exposing Oprah's terminal sickness, Brad Pitt's infidelity with Angelina, and of course this story from last July:
![5 More Insane Viral News Stories That Were Total Crap]()
When asked if the story was true, an official at the Nevada Department of Corrections laughed. Granted, in this case that could still be a "yeah."
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