Sleuthing Internet denizens have excitedly spotted this strange tidbit hiding in a picture taken by Curiosity: a pleasingly manicured finger. Some are speculating that this digit belonged to an ancient race of rock lords (Homo petrus). Even fewer are theorizing that Mars is actually a massive jar of tainted peanut butter. Who could be the mastermind behind all of these strange sightings? The answer may surprise you (but it actually won't if you own a walk-in closet full of tinfoil sombreros) ...
Yup, several years ago, Curiosity's rover sibling Spirit captured a rare paparazzi shot of sasquatch lounging leisurely in the inhospitable Martian deathscape. Some observers have noted that the reclusive man-ape of the Pacific Northwest appears to be wearing a fashionable green camisole. This goes to show that the shy behemoth has the capacity to travel off-world when he requires extra privacy. And for those of you discouraged by NASA's insistence that Bigfoot here is only a few inches tall, all this proves is that he owns a shrink ray. How do you think he always manages to elude hikers?
Ultimately, the most thrilling spectacle on Mars is neither these sights nor Olympus Mons, the largest mountain in the solar system. It's the crude space penis Curiosity inadvertently doodled on the planet's surface, as there's nothing quite like seeing billions of dollars of cutting-edge science morph into an interplanetary dick joke.
This is why science exists in the first place.