5 Impossible Crimes That Were Shockingly Easy to Commit

Someone just waltzed in and spray painted the thing with the stupidest graffiti this side of a sixth-grade bathroom stall. "Houston, we are the problem" and "Space!" and (United States) "of Dez Nuts" were among the gems scribbled. Not to mention sundry racial stuff and what appears to be a teddy bear, because of course.

khou.com
"Maybe we can change it to 'Dez Vuts.'"

Another message that was scrawled on the shuttle was "Drugs made me do it," which we guess is better than the true reason: Someone didn't get enough Bill Nye when he was a kid.

When authorities noticed that a whole road was missing, it didn't require Sherlock Holmes to find the culprit who was driving around with three truckloads of concrete. The craziest part is that this isn't even the first road-stealing incident in Russia -- thieves have taken to stealing whole bridges in recent months. Driving in the former Soviet Union must be like encountering the Nothing from The Neverending Story.

In an unexpected turn that will leave you scratching your head, at least six different incidences of stolen radioactive substances are reported each year in Mexico, which makes the fact that this truck had no security or GPS even more mind-bogglingly weird. We can guess what Mexico's New Year's resolution will be.

The crew likely made a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity in their drawers when they exited the eatery and discovered that their SUV had been broken into and the aforementioned $500,000 camera was missing. The burglars probably had no idea what they had their hands on and just took the thing that looked the most expensive. Either that, or they knew it would be used to film Dumb and Dumber To and, in an act of defiance and believing they were standing up for modern art, stole it. Since there are only about 10 such cameras existing in the world and no one would possibly know its value, it would be impossible to sell the camera for half a million dollars.

To make the situation even more hilarious than any plotline in the Dumb and Dumber sequel could possibly be, the camera cannot even function without its other parts, which are strewn in some 12 separate crates, rendering the stolen camera completely useless.

Robert Carr had climbed through the house's window, emptied out all their personal belongs, changed the locks, and claimed he was the house's new owner, thanks to something called a quiet title, which was given to him by the county.

It turns out Carr had also "quiet titled" 10 other houses in Ohio that he said were abandoned. Carr explained his actions by saying, "When you abandon something, bam, walk away from it. Somebody can come in, 'Oh, mine.'" It kind of sounds like Carr is laying claim to the houses by saying, "You move your feet, you lose your seat," which, thankfully, is not exactly how our legal system works. In fact, in Ohio, you would only receive "squatter's rights" on a home if you had occupied it for 21 consecutive years.

Carr has been arrested in connection with three of the house thefts, but as you would expect from a man who seems to make up his own rules, he scrawled "rejected" across his indictment.

wlwt.com
"Shit! What are we going to do now!?!" -District Attorney

Hillery has a Twitter account, which you can follow here.